SHOW ME
by Konnie-chan
Summary: A story of love and madness. Oh, right, and magik :P FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

SHOW ME BY Konnie  
  
A/N: I've always thought Touya and Yukito deserved more development on their story. I know, I know, the show was Card Captors Sakura, and not Card captor's brother Touya. But still :). This is my take on everything.  
  
TIMELINE: Post-show, Post-2nd movie  
  
RATING: R (to be on the safe side)  
  
FEEDBACK: YES, please. To evolution2476@yahoo.com  
  
CHAPTER ONE  
  
~You ignore it, don't you? The reason of my doings. I know you are smarter than this, my love, but I guess your blindness resides elsewhere. And I'm forced to show you the hard way.~  
  
There it was again. Touya let out a sigh of exasperation and stiffened beside his boyfriend.  
  
"Not now, To-ya." Yukito said with an innocent smile, pointing at the TV set and snuggling closer to the taller boy. "The show's about to start. We wouldn't want to miss it." He continued merrily, causing another sigh to escape Touya's lips.  
  
They'd been together for a few months now, and in spite of everything, of the tiredness, the sense of loss and the headaches, Touya would never dare to say it wasn't worth it. That he wasn't happy. But he was starting to wonder if the feeling was returned. He knew Yukito loved him, he'd heard his koibito confess his love for him. He also knew Yue- Yuki's true form- loved him as well. But every time Touya approached Yuki with the idea of anything beyond light kissing, somehow his beloved snow bunny would distract himself with the most ridiculous things, or state that it wasn't the right time, or the right place. It was never the time, never the place. Not even when they were all alone at Yuki's place. The last time he'd tried Yuki had "forgotten" to buy dinner, and ran out of the house as if it were on fire. As if Tsukishiro Yukito wouldn't have enough food on his house to fix something up.  
  
But Touya wasn't deceived by the young man's innocent looks of apology. Behind those beautiful amber eyes, he could almost see the cold blue ones, filled with fear and . . .  
  
Disgust.  
  
Touya rose violently from the couch, startling Yuki out of his wits. He stepped outside the Kinomoto residence without paying notice to Yukito's questions and slammed the front door with a vengeance.  
  
It was wrong. Everything was. Touya wasn't even sure anymore. Was it real what they had? Was anything real for that matter?  
  
He used to sense it. What was real and what wasn't. What was dead, what was alive; what an illusion and what reality. Everything looked the same now. He couldn't tell anymore. Was it worth it?  
  
A single tear rolled down his cheek. He was overreacting. Touya was never one to be so sensitive. Surely Yuki was just scared. It wasn't as if he wasn't scared himself. The idea of making love to his boyfriend might have been tempting, but it was still scary as hell. Surely that was the reason of Yukito's reluctance.  
  
He smiled a little and shook his head. He had to get a grip of himself! Ever since transferring his powers to Yue, the world had seemed so different, so empty, that Touya begun falling apart. But he had to keep himself together. For Yuki, if not for himself.  
  
A cold shiver ran through his spine and he felt someone's breath on his neck. He spun around violently and found Nadeshiko standing in front of him, with a kind of smile that he'd never seen his mother wear before. It was unsettling and terrifying. The somber figure took a step forward and the evil grin widened. The words the spirit spoke came out as a whisper, but somehow he could feel them echoing through his entire body.  
  
"This is what you deserve, To-ya. You choose that boy over your own mother. You choose a FUCK over me, To-ya, and this is how you pay."  
  
Touya's eyes widened in terror. He was about to scream when the figure dissipated and he came face to face with a very worried Yukito.  
  
"To-ya? Are you ok?" the delicate boy asked with genuine concern. Touya looked at him, tears streaming down his face and ran inside.  
  
"Stay away from me! Go away!" he yelled before locking himself in his room.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

SHOW ME BY Konnie  
  
A/N: I know nothing makes sense now, but there's a plot here somewhere. Trust me. And I happen to think it's a good one. By the way, I forgot to add a disclaimer on the first chapter. They really should just put one big giant disclaimer on the front page, since there's nothing but ff on this site now.  
  
DISCLAIMER: This belongs to clamp.  
  
TIMELINE: Post-show, Post-2nd movie  
  
RATING: R (for violence and disturbing imaginary! Get your mind out of the gutter! Oh, ok, I'll be good, there'll be a little shounen ai loving in this too. But nothing too explicit. Oh no! what kinda girl you think I am?! I may read it! I may think about it! But I'll never write it! ;) )  
  
FEEDBACK: YES, please. To evolution2476@yahoo.com  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
~I never really understood why you left me. You said you had to, that you were tired of this world. But I missed you. I still do. I wonder if you ever loved me as anything more than your creature. And now you hand me over to a new owner, to a new lover. But I love you! Can't you see? And every time I find myself staring into those deep black eyes I feel like I'm loosing myself. I won't forget you, I wont let you make me forget again.~  
  
Sakura Kinomoto was a happy girl. It's funny how different happiness feels once you've lost it and found it again. Her happiness used to be pure, yes. Complete, even. But she wouldn't trade her current happiness for the previous one. Because this one was more real. The same could be said about her love for that special person.  
  
Her twelfth birthday was approaching and she could tell that now she was a bit older she could understand better a lot of things. One of those things being the strange behaviour of her best friend. For years Tomoyo had done things she couldn't comprehend. Her friend's devotion towards her had always seemed bizarre but she'd figured that was the way Tomoyo was with all her close friends. But now she was older and she knew better. And that was why she wasn't resentful when Tomoyo started spending more time with her new "friend", Tanaka Kaoru. A new student of the sixth grade that had clicked with the black haired girl immediately. Now she was older and she could be happy for her dear friend.  
  
Luckily though, that didn't mean Tomoyo cared for her any less. They still spend most of their time together, only now Tanaka-chan would always be with them. Just as Shaoran did when he was in town. And of course, she still had the little pink mobile phone her friend had given her as a gift, which meant 24 hours coverage on any news and eventualities that were worth sharing. Since the debacle with the cards and Clow Reed had ended, Sakura had found a new interest for gossip. And gossip was what she was doing that autumn evening on her way back home.  
  
". . . And Rika told me why Chiharu-chan and Yamazaki-kun weren't at math class today!" Tomoyo said with her usual enthusiasm. Sakura chuckled.  
  
"I think I have an idea of the why too! I want to know how they managed to sneak out though!" Sakura and Tomoyo laughed in unison. But Tomoyo's voice sobered for a moment.  
  
"Have you told Li-kun about the news?"  
  
"Not yet. . ." she shook her head even if Tomoyo couldn't see her. ". . . you know how stubborn he is. I'm sure he'd take the first flight to Japan if he knew Eriol was visiting. I think he's still jealous. But I guess that wouldn't be so bad after all. I really miss him, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I know. Well, it would be nice to see Li-kun again. And I'm curious of Eriol's reasons to come back to Tomoeda. Do you think he's planning something funny?"  
  
Sakura laughed now.  
  
"No, no. I made him promise: No flying penguins, no killer pianos, nothing!"  
  
"Good!" Tomoyo laughed.  
  
"Well, I'm at the front door now. I hope I'm not too late. It's my turn to make dinner, and Yukito's dining with us."  
  
"Say hello to Yukito-kun and your brother for me. Bye friend."  
  
"Bye Tomoyo, have fun."  
  
It was the beep of the end button what made it obvious to her the silence of the house. This was highly unusual. Touya and Yukito were always doing something when they were home. If they weren't cooking, they would be chatting away in the living room or watching TV and looking positively crazy about each other. Yes, she was older now, and one thing she couldn't understand was why they were always doing something but the one thing they obviously wanted to be doing. Maybe she needed to be even older to understand that.  
  
But as it was, the house was silent. She saw the empty cups and plates on the coffee table, so she knew they'd been there not long ago. She'd figured they probably went out to get something else to eat for Yukito, but one glance at the hanger and she knew she'd been wrong, since both coats were still hanging from it. Maybe they'd finally stopped fooling themselves and were in Touya's room, "knowing each other better" or something. Sakura chuckled and started climbing the stairs as silently as she could to avoid disturbing them.  
  
In the hallway though, that theory also proved wrong. Yukito was crouched next to Touya's door, face down, looking rather sad and definitively worried. Sakura approached him slowly and cleared her throat when she realised Yukito wasn't aware of her presence. He lifted his eyes to meet hers and smiled sweetly.  
  
"Sakura, hi!" he said as cheerful as usual, but the smile never reached his eyes.  
  
"Hi Yukito-kun. Is everything alright?" she asked cautiously, sitting beside him. "Did you and my brother had a fight?"  
  
Was that possible?  
  
Yukito sighed and shook his head no.  
  
"I'm not sure. I don't think so. Touya seemed very upset all of the sudden. He locked himself in here and wont come out. I tried to talk to him, but he won't listen."  
  
"Oh, I see. That's strange, but somehow, I'm not surprised." Sakura said somewhat sadly. And Yukito replied with an equally sad smile.  
  
"He's been to tired and stressed out lately. I know. What with college just around the corner, all the time he spends working and. . . and. . . "  
  
Sakura smiled reassuringly and took Yukito's hand in hers.  
  
"He's told you not to worry about that. He doesn't resent you for loosing his powers. You know that!" Yukito smiled again.  
  
"Yes, I know that. You're right. He probably just needs a good night sleep to be as good as new."  
  
"I'm sure. Now, come on. I'll be in my room. Try to talk to him, and if he doesn't let you in, knock the door down. I give you my permission."  
  
Now Yukito laughed and this time it did reach his eyes.  
  
"Ok, thank you Sakura."  
  
The grey haired boy watched as the girl he thought of as a little sister made her way towards her room and closed the door. He stood up and knocked on Touya's door once more.  
  
"To-ya?"  
  
"What?!" came the grumpy reply.  
  
"Can I come in? Please?"  
  
There was a long silence and Yukito could almost hear Touya sigh. He'd notice his koibito was doing a lot of that lately and he couldn't figure out why. Though somewhere in the corner of his mind, he knew. There was something he was missing and he was hurting Touya because of it, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Finally came the tired reply, barely audible.  
  
"Come in, it's open."  
  
Yukito walked in carefully into the dim lit room. It took him a few moments to find Touya, who was sitting in a dark corner of the room, hiding his face behind his long bangs.  
  
"Are you ok To-ya? Did I do something wrong?"  
  
"No, you didn't do anything. I'm ok." The taller boy answered, without sounding too convinced.  
  
Yukito bit his lip and walked towards him. From a closer angle he could see his boyfriend's eyes, red and puffy from crying, and his chest ached at the sight.  
  
"You've been crying? Why?"  
  
Touya sighed yet again and stood up, wiping his face with his sleeve. He sat on his bed and patted the space beside it, and Yukito didn't waste a moment in occupy it. Touya took Yuki's hand and rubbed the knuckles tenderly with his thumb.  
  
"Sakura's right. I'm just so tired." The dark haired boy rested his head on Yuki's shoulder and Yukito had his arms wrapped around him in an instant.  
  
"Shhh. It's ok, To-ya. You need to rest. Why don't you get ready while I fix you something to eat? I'll bring it to you here, ok?" Touya nodded on his shoulder.  
  
"Will you stay tonight?"  
  
Yukito ran his fingers through the black locks and smiled.  
  
"Ok, I'll stay. I'll bring the cot as well." He rose from the bed and was about to leave the room but Touya seized his wrist.  
  
"You can use my bed, you know?" there wasn't any suggestions in his tone. Touya sounded desperate more than anything; but there was still something inside Yukito that paralysed him upon hearing those words. And then the sensation was gone, but the fear remained. Something was pulling him back, and he didn't know why or what. Quickly he hid his concern behind his trade mark smile.  
  
"C'mon, To-ya! You won't get any rest if we both sleep on that tiny bed. Don't you think?"  
  
And before he had time to hear a reply, he was out of the room and started making diner, immediately forgetting what had sent him fleeting away from his beloved Touya.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

SHOW ME  
  
A/N: Here we are again. What's wrong with Touya? What's wrong with Yukito? I know, but I'm not telling. Not yet anyway :p I hope you are enjoying this story.  
  
Disclaimer: this is clamp's.  
  
Rating; ok, rating. I say R, for future chapters, i'm not sure tho.  
  
CHAPTER THREE  
  
~"You are the only person that could get an honest smile out of me, you know that? You were there for me, by my side, always, and I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you. I thought I knew heartache before, but having you this close and not being able to reach you. . . that's heart ache."~  
  
The alarm clock went off around 7:00 am, but Touya tossed it across the room and buried his head on the pillows. Yukito, of course, was already up. The cot had been removed from his room already. There were no signs of Yukito ever being there at all.  
  
*"How do you know he was here? Maybe he flew off the window the moment you fell asleep?"*  
  
Touya stared blankly at the wall. He wasn't going to listen, it wasn't real anyway. e might have been a nervous wreck, but he could still tell the voice wasn't real. Not the voice, not the figure, not the face he knew so well. His mother was dead, and he couldn't see her anymore. Right?  
  
*"You know I'm real. You know I have every right to be here. Didn't you miss me To-ya?"*  
  
The tone she used made him want to throw up. She laid herself next to him and started running a hand through his hair.  
  
*"My dear Touya. . .you've grown up to be so handsome. . ."*  
  
He bolted right out of bed and made a run for the bathroom. He stared at his reflection for a long while. That's what everything felt like now. Like staring at a reflection. There was nothing to tell him it was all real.  
  
"Maybe it isn't. Maybe I'm the one who's real, and the rest is a product of your sick imagination. I wouldn't be surprised. You've always been a weird kid."*  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" Touya yelled finally, realising he was loosing his coposure. The last thing he needed to do was talk back to a figment of his tired mind. Being crazy wasn't hearing voices, it was talking back to them, and he knew it.  
  
There was a knock on the door and Touya straighten himself up, fixed his hair a bit and opened the door. Yukito was standing there, with an odd look on his face. The grey haired boy peaked inside the room for a moment, then spoke softly.  
  
"Your dad asked me to wake you, breakfast is ready. . ."  
  
"Fine. I'll be right down. I need. . .I need to. . ." he stammered and walked back into the bathroom.  
  
"To-ya? Who were you talking to?" Yukito asked kindly.  
  
Touya wanted to scream. The one time he answers back, and Yukito had to hear it.  
  
"I was talking to . . .to myself. Yes. . .to myself." he finished with a whisper, almost as if trying to convince himself of the fact.  
  
*"You liar. I didn't rase a liar!"*  
  
"Are you sure you're ok?"  
  
Yukito hadn't bought it, he could tell. It didn't matter. It was matter of pulling himself together and do a bit of damage control. I f he could appear composed and happy during breakfast, everything would be ok.  
  
"I'm fine, Yuki. Don't worry." he said trying to smile a little. "I'll be right there."  
  
"Ok." Yukito said uncertainly, but closed the door behind him.  
  
Good.  
  
Now all he had to do was pretend. It shouldn't be so hard. He'd been on the berge of suicide for years after his mother died; worse when Kaho left him, and no one seemed to notice. Why would this be any different?  
  
*"You should have done it. You should have died."*  
  
"Shut up." he whispered and went on brushing his teeth.  
  
*************  
  
"Touya said he'd be down in a minute, sir." Yukito said, and sat on the kitchen table.  
  
"Ok. I hope he's feeling better. He's been so tired lately." Fujitaka Kinomoto said with his usual smile and kind concern for his children.  
  
"I think he needs a vacation. Last night. . . Well, I thought a good night sleep would do wonders for him, but the truth is. . . he didn't sleep that well. I think he must have nightmares or something." Yukito said mostly for himself. Something was wrong with Touya and he didn't know how to help him.  
  
The night before he sat on his cot, watching his boyfriend toss and turn all night. He wanted to comfort him; to climb on the bed next to him and hold him, make him feel safe. But he was frozen in place. He couldn't do it. So he limited himself to watching, feeling a lump growing on his throat.  
  
Fujitaka frowned.  
  
"Nightmares? That's not right. I'll talk to him. He hasn't had nightmares since his mother died."  
  
Yukito wanted to ask more, but at that moment Touya walked in. He looked a little better, and Yukito sighed in relief.  
  
"Good morning father, good morning Yuki. Is the Kaiju up yet?" Touya said with a smile, and his usual careless demeanour. Yukito smiled back and shook his head no.  
  
"Don't be mean with little Sakura, To-ya. No, she hasn't come down yet, but I heard her alarm clock going off, so she shouldn't be long."  
  
"She's always late, Kaiju." He said loud enough for the girl that was running down the stairs to hear.  
  
"Brother! I am not a Kaiju!" she was about to punch him in the face, but decided against it when she saw Yukito sitting there, watching them both amusedly. "Good morning Yuikito-chan, father, brother." She took her seat and stared at the portrait. "Good morning mom." She said sweetly.  
  
Sakura wasn't the only one to jump, startled, when Touya slammed a fist on the table after Sakura greeted her mother.  
  
"Brother?" she asked confused.  
  
"Why do you have to say good morning to her?! She's fucking dead!!" Sakura gasped at Touya's language.  
  
"Touya!" Fujitaka scolded. "What's wrong with you? How dare you use that kind of language?"  
  
Yukito was shocked, seeing the sudden change on Touya. It was like seeing another person.  
  
Touya stretched himself on his seat and smiled smugly.  
  
"Am I the only one smart enough to know she's gone? She's not here, not anywhere. SHE IS DEAD!"  
  
"Touya, stop it right now!" Fujitaka was angrier than Yukito had ever seen him. In fact, it was the first time he saw Fujitaka angry at all. Though he could certainly understand the reasons.  
  
"Or what? I'm not in the mood for this." Touya rose from his seat, took a piece of bread and walked to the hanger to fetch his coat.  
  
"To-ya wait, please." Yukito whispered.  
  
"Where do you think you're going, young man? You can't make a show like that one and expect to leave without consequences!" Fujitaka seized Touya by the arm, but Touya shook him off.  
  
"Don't touch me." He said in a menacing voice, and left, leaving everyone in a stunned silence.  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

Show me  
by konnie  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
*"I watched you grow. I held you when you were sad, tugged you in before you fell asleep. You were the vivid image of your mother. If only darker. You were always so sensitive to the cruelty of the world, and you thought you could hide your pain from me. But a father knows when his son is in pain. You always seemed able to cope with it, so I left you alone, gave you space and time. Maybe I was wrong."*  
  
"What time is it?" Fujitaka Kinomoto asked with a weary voice.  
  
He was tired, scared, worried sick about his oldest son, who hadn't come home since breakfast, hadn't gone to school and didn't go to work. It was official. By 10:00 pm it was obvious Touya was missing and not just running away from an argument.  
  
It's funny when this things happen, everyone seems to remember things they hadn't noticed before. Someone heard him talking to himself, someone saw him staring blankly into space, someone saw him outburst for no reason. Things that on their own may mean nothing; but given the circumstances and put all together were something serious.  
  
Fujitaka rubbed his temples.  
  
Was Touya in trouble? Was he taking drugs maybe?  
  
Something inside of him told him the answer, but he wouldn't acknowledge it.  
  
His oldest son was NOT loosing his mind.  
  
"10:05, sir" Yukito answered in an equal worried fashion. "Maybe we should go look for him. I don't have any idea where he could be at this hour."  
  
With each word, Yukito's voice would come closer to a whimper than a statement.  
  
It was his fault, Yukito knew it. It was all his fault; and now Touya could be lying dead somewhere.  
  
The thought made him shiver. Touya was alright. He had to be! He'd never gotten the chance to show Touya how much he loved him, and he couldn't disappear without knowing it.  
  
Yukito walked over the sleeping form of Sakura on the couch and covered her with a blanket. Poor child, she'd wept herself to sleep when she realised her brother wasn't coming back on his own. She, as himself, also felt guilty, but he had to let her know it wasn't her responsibility. It was his job to protect her, and he would. He'd let her know it wasn't her fault, and then he'd go find her brother, wherever he might be.  
  
Silently, both men left the house, hoping they'd return with good news by the time the child was awake.  
  
********  
  
It was a nightmare she couldn't remember what had made her wake up on an empty apartment. But sadly, she found herself waking into another nightmare.  
  
It had been a long time since the last time she'd cried like this. Not since telling Yukito of her feelings. But this time there was no one here to comfort her.  
  
She could go wake Kero, but her friend wasn't exactly the best listener in the world. Tomoyo, she was staying the night over Tanaka's place. "All innocent  
  
fun", Tomoyo had assured her with a wink. None of her other friends at school were close enough with her to drop them with this problem. There was someone. . .The only person she could think off. The person who'd been there for her that other time.  
  
She picked up the note on the coffee table and stared at it dumbly. All kinds of stupid ideas went through her head and she almost starts crying again for thinking about food at a time like this. She ran to the phone and dialed as if her life depended on it. A few rings that seemed to last forever- she was about to hang up- and she heard the familiar voice of her boyfriend.  
  
"Li residence?" came the voice sounding rather sleepy. She hadn't thought of the time before calling and was thankful that Li , and not his mother or the butler, had picked up.  
  
"Are they making you answer the phone now?" she tried to sound amused, but couldn't quite get it. Li didn't seem to notice though.  
  
"Sakura! Hi! How are you? Are you ok? Why are you calling so late? It's almost midnight."  
  
"I. . .I just wanted to talk to you. I'm sorry. I'll call you in the morning."  
  
"No! No, I'm glad you've called. It's just strange."  
  
"Well, something happened, I just. . ."  
  
"What's wrong?" Li sounded truly concern; but then again, he was always concerned about her.  
  
"My brother. . .I think he's in trouble. He left this morning after fighting with me and now no one knows where he is." She could already feel the tears  
  
forming.  
  
"Oh, dear. He ran away?"  
  
"I don't know. Li. . .for some time now . . .well. . ."  
  
"What? Tell me."  
  
"Touya is not ok, something's wrong with him. He hasn't been the same since. . .since. . ."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You think having no powers is affecting him more than what we expected? I really don't understand how would that be."  
  
"I just know that's when it started. It wasn't much at first. He was just tired, or have headaches. But for a few weeks now, he's been moody, quiet. . .I don't know. . .different."  
  
And she'd been too busy with her friends and her stuff to notice her brother was falling apart.  
  
"I'm sure he's ok. If he had a fight with you, I'm sure he just needed time to cool off."  
  
"I don't think that's it, he missed work! He never misses work!" she started crying again.  
  
"Sakura. . .please calm down. Crying won't solve anything."  
  
"I know but. . .I'm so worried!"  
  
"Ok, listen to me." Shaoran said sternly. Sakura sniffed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Have you thought about using the cards to find him and what's wrong with him?"  
  
Sakura gasped.  
  
Of course!  
  
"Li, I'll call you later ok?!" she could almost hear him smile.  
  
"Bye Sakura."  
  
"Yeah, bye! I love you!"  
  
In his house in Honk Kong, Li Shaoran stared down at the phone, blushing to the roots of his hair, stunned.  
  
*************  
  
Beep beep beep beep  
  
Yukito reached for his cell phone. Fujitaka stopped walking and turned around to look at the younger man with hopeful eyes.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Yukito-kun?"  
  
"Who is it? Is it Touya? Is he ok?" The older man practically yelled. Yukito mouthed "Sakura" and hear the resigned sigh of his boyfriend's father.  
  
"What is it Sakura?" he said kindly.  
  
"Have you found him yet?" she asked, sounding rather hesitant.  
  
"No, we are still at it. We'll be going home soon though. There's no use in  
  
looking for him like this."  
  
"Wait, yukito, I. . .I used the cards to. . .to read my luck, you know? And  
  
Touya's."  
  
Yukito's face lit up, but he didn't want to get his hopes up.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes. Remember that part of the park where you and I fell of that cliff?"  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Well, I think he's there. I think he's ok but he needs help Yukito." Sakura was crying now. "Please help him."  
  
"We'll bring him home safe, don't worry. Thank you so much Sakura."  
  
"What? What did she say?" Fujitaka wasn't oblivious to the ray of hope in Yukito's eyes, which was soon reflected on his own.  
  
"A...A friend of hers thinks she saw Touya at the park. C'mon. We have to hurry."  
***********  
  
Touya was lost. He knew he should know where he was, but the problem was, if that was the place he thought it was, then where had all the spirits gone? Why was his mother the only one near him?  
  
*"I'm always going to be by your side." The voice cooed.  
  
"I know mom. I missed you so much."  
  
His legs hung loosely from the edge, but he felt safe. He'd finally stopped  
  
fighting his mother. Everything she'd said was true. Who should he trust? A  
  
boyfriend who wasn't even human, who didn't love him and had tried to take his mother away from him? Or his mother, who'd been there beside him to help him even when no one else knew he needed help?  
  
She had every right to be angry at him. And she was right, he had made a terrible mistake and he was going to fix it or pay for it.  
  
But he wasn't ready. He didn't want to die. He told her that and in turn, she offered another solution. He could be happy and warm by her side if he wanted it. And he didn't have to die. All he had to do was let her take him in her  
  
arms. She'd take care of the rest. Of him.  
  
He'd done it, and now he was loosing himself into darkness, but his mother was there. It was a good feeling.  
  
Everything around him seemed fussy. Every second that passed, darkness would take a step forward and he would be one step away from the world he knew. But he was still alive and he could feel it again; life.  
  
At some point he heard voices, but by then it was too late to go back. There was bliss in that darkness, and he liked it that way. At least the darkness felt real.  
  
The last thing he saw was a flash of white and two faces he could have sworn, he knew from somewhere. Well, it was over now. It didn't matter.  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

SHOW ME  
  
A/N: Oh My God! I just reread chapter 4, there were so many typos in there to make you cringe! I'm so sorry about that. I already fixed it. Anyway, I'm not really sure how many of you are reading this. If you like my writing, or would like to have your fix posted on another site, contact me, I'm building a web site for fanfiction of any kind, any fandom. You know the address :P  
  
Enjoy!  
  
CHAPTER 5  
  
The incessant tic-tac of the clock was driving Sakura mad. It was way past midnight and still there were no news of her father and Yukito. She'd spend most of the previous hour talking to Li over the phone. Her father would want to kill her when the phone bill arrived but the fee on long distance calls were the last of her worries. She'd told Li about Eriol and almost laughed at the jealousy that provoked. As predicted, Shaoran was to arrive on the first plight the next day.  
  
She was glad for it. She needed him right now.  
  
It was just ten minutes after 1:00 m that she heard the lock and woke up from her worry induced stupor. She practically jumped from the couch to meet them, but she was surprised to find only Yukito there, and not pleased by the expression on his face.  
  
"Yukito-kun! Did you find him? Ws he where I told you he'd be?!" she was a step away from hysterics.  
  
She, as she'd told Yukito, had used the cards to find her brother. What she hadn't told him was that the cards, according to Kero, said Touya was in serious trouble. They also said it had to do with magic and love, which she didn't understand. But she figured, since in Yukito lay both, it had something to do with him.  
  
The yong man sighed.  
  
"Yes, Sakura-chan, we found Touya. But. . ." Yukito was on the barge of tears.  
  
Sakura shook her head franticly. What was going on?  
  
"But you found him! Where is he? Why isn't dad with you?! Yukito, tell me!"  
  
Yukito kneeled down in front of her and seized her by the shoulders.  
  
"Listen to me Sakura. Your dad is with Touya now. He had to take him to the hospital. Touya. . . he's. . ."  
  
"Is he hurt?" she whispered.  
  
"No, not hurt, just. . ."  
  
Sakura was loosing her patience. No matter how much she cared for Yukito, this was making her angry. Why couldn't he just tell her?  
  
"Are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?!" Sakura spat, and Yukito stared at her, shocked.  
  
"Yes. . . of course. . .I . . He's. . ." Sakura glared at him and Yukito cleared his throat. " Ok, the thing is, they don't know what's wrong with him." He said without pausing to breathe.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"He's, I don' know. . .not there. They say he's not catatonic, not really, but. . .it's as if he were. I came here to tell you an bring you to he hospital with me. Ok?"  
  
Yukito wasn't finished talking and Sakura was already putting on her shoes and coat.  
  
"Lets go!"  
  
*****************  
  
Hospitals re no one's favourite place. Well, maybe doctors. But Yukito hated them with every fibre of his body. He remembered the time he thought he was dying, spending long hours after school getting tested and poked and probed; having to be around sick people who were in pain and scared. As far as he knew, death lived in hospitals. There was nothing to like about them.  
  
Specially if you were to consider the fact that his boyfriend, the only person in this planet who was real in his memories. The one who gave meaning to his existence, was lying on one of those uncomfortable beds with blank look on his face and being a tad non-responsive. He could still no shake the image of Touya sitting on the edge of that cliff, looking dead inside. He could only pray to whatever god was out there that he wasn't.  
  
At that late hour there wasn't soul walking the hospital's halls. Both their footsteps could be heard echoing through the old walls and it gave Yukio a sense of dread and abandonment he would have rather not feel, considering there was enough dread in his mind to throw around. He watched little Sakura walking firmly in a few steps ahead of him. He could only feel admiration for the girl. There wasn't a sing of fear on he face, just a stern look that, he was convinced, served as a front to keep the tears away for the sake of her father.  
  
They finally reached the psych ward and Yukito's restlessness worsened.  
  
They should ally do something with those bars on the doors. Hide them somehow. It wasn't very inviting.  
  
Fujitaka was waiting just outside Touya's room. The poor man looked so tired it made him look ten years older. He saw them and waved at them, smiling slightly.  
  
"Yukito-kun! Sakura!" he cheered. "I'm so glad you're here!"  
  
Sakura looked at his father and gathered some courage to ask.  
  
"How's my brother, dad?"  
  
"He's. . .He'll be ok, Sakura. The doctors said they'd give him some medication to help him wake up from wherever he is now. But he seems peaceful. Doesn't he, Yukito-kun?"  
  
Yukito nodded, giving Fujitaka a sad look.  
  
"Yes, he does. He actually had a smile on his face when we found him. He's going to be ok soon, but it's good to know he's not in pain while he recovers. I just. . .I don't understand what's happening."  
  
"Neither do I, Yukito-kun. This morning he's behaving the way he did and then he goes. . .blank. I don't know how this happened. All we can do now is wait. The doctors wont let us see him until they're done checking him up."  
  
Yukito realised, by the expression on Fujitaka's face, that he wasn't the only one about to brake, so he figured he'd change the subject and try to make it easier on the three of them. He clapped one time and sighed.  
  
"Ok, I say we go down to the cafeteria and get us something to eat, because I'm starving!" he said cheerfully. Sakura smiled a little, so did her father.  
  
"You sure have a healthy appetite, Yukito-kun." Sakura added, while making her way into the elevator along with the rest.  
  
*******************  
  
"Unbelievable! Eating at a time like this! Yue certainly is insensitive!" Nakuru giggled. "I'd never do that to my dear Touya!"  
  
Eriol smiled, never taking his eyes from the image on the floor.  
  
"You haven't recovered from the rejection yet, have you Ruby Moon?"  
  
She pouted.  
  
"Well. No! Touya should be mine, mine, mine!"  
  
Spinel Sun lifted his eyes from the book he was reading and smiled.  
  
"I'm sure you would have won if that boy had met you first. But Yukito  
isn't really  
Yue, is he, master Eriol?"  
  
"We should leave that question to him, don't you think? After all,  
that's the reason we  
are doing this."  
  
Eriol closed his eyes for a moment while an idea formed in his  
hyperactive mind.  
  
"It will be interesting to see hat happens when that kid enters the  
picture. Sakura and  
Yue have been too busy worrying about her brother to notice my  
presence. Kerberos  
hasn't been close enough to the boy to notice either. I'm sure Li  
will, and so we should  
make things a little more interesting. That way I may gain some time."  
  
********************  
  
Touya felt safe and warm. It was like being back in the womb. He felt  
loved and  
protected and nothing in this world would make him abandon the  
darkness that  
enveloped him. He could still sense noises and people outside the  
cocoon he'd  
built around himself, but he wasn't taking knowledge of them.  
  
Once in a while, he'd hear the voice of his mother comforting him and  
whispering  
words of affection. It was heaven on earth, the way he saw it. No more  
pain, no more  
fear. Just peace.  
  
Suddenly the darkness became oppressive. He couldn't breathe and he  
felt like thousand needles were being poked into him. The pain was excruciating, but he  
couldn't find his voice to scream and ask those people he had sensed  
for help.  
  
From the darkness he heard the voice of his mother again, this time  
laughing viciously.  
  
"This is what you wanted, isn't it? Being away from h world? From  
Yukito and the pain  
he caused? Well, now you are. I never said you wouldn't feel pain here  
too, did I?"  
  
She laughed again.  
  
"Why?. . ." Touya whispered, over and over again. "Why?"  
  
********************* . They were walking back from the cafeteria, hoping they'd get a chance to see Touya, but found several doctors and nurses practically running towards his room. They wouldn't let them in, but from the slit of the ajar door Yukito could see him convulsing and yelling like a mad man.  
  
The word echoed in his brain, incessantly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

SHOW ME  
  
A/N: I don't know if the lack of reviews for the last chapter had to do with the fact that ff.net was having a bit of an absence leave or because it sucked. Anyway. From now on, if ff.net starts acting up again, you can find any updates on my stories on my web site. You know, the one I mentioned on the last chapter no one read.   
  
And so it continues!   
  
CHAPTER 6  
  
The impossible white angel was staring down at the restrained dark boy  
  
with a mixture of pain, regret and love showing on his face. Completely  
  
unaware of being watched, he kneeled down next to him and took one of his  
  
hands on his.  
  
He felt trapped between feelings he couldn't understand. His heart had  
  
always belonged and always would, to one person only. One person that had  
  
made it clear he didn't want him anymore, yes; but he couldn't stop loving  
  
his master, he couldn't even conceive trying. Clow would always be his  
  
master. It didn't matter how many others were to come; he was his creator  
  
and the only one who would ever have a place in his heart.  
  
But then why couldn't he stop staring at this young man? Why was he in his  
  
every thought? It was probably all those years he'd spend alone. He craved  
  
some company. But he couldn't betray Clow that way. And, even though he  
  
could feel the pure love his false form had for the dark boy, he wouldn't  
  
allow himself to experience that kind of happiness with anyone else, even  
  
if it was through Yukito.  
  
His heart throbbed. Touya had become either a vegetable or a screaming  
  
maniac and somewhere inside of him, he knew it was his fault. Doctors came  
  
and went, entering the room confident with their abilities and leaving  
  
scratching their heads. They whispered schizophrenia and nervous breakdown  
  
on everyone's backs, but Yue knew better. This wasn't physical madness.  
  
Touya had given him part of his soul and he hadn't give anything in return  
  
to fill that void. It hurt to know it, but there was nothing he could do.  
  
A tear escaped his eye and he gasped. His tears were few, and only  
  
reserved for his love. No ordinary human deserved his tears. And that was  
  
what Touya Kinomoto was now. An ordinary human being.  
  
Because of him.  
  
The limp hand stirred slightly, and Yue lifted his gaze to meet those  
  
blank eyes. He thought he saw a flicker of recognition in them, but it  
  
died as quickly as it had appeared.  
  
Yue begun absentmindedly rubbing the cold fingers and humming an old tune  
  
Clow used to sing to him to cheer him up. Of course, coming out his throat  
  
it sounded a lot sadder and he wondered if he had forgotten how to cheer  
  
up at all. It didn't matter. There was no reason to smile now that his  
  
master wasn't there to see it.  
  
**********************  
  
Touya craved the moments when the pain stopped, when he couldn't hear  
  
anything but the oppressive silence of the darkness enveloping him. He was  
  
tired. Whatever had made him decide to retreat into himself was long  
  
forgotten, along with the knowledge of how to get out.  
  
He'd tried.  
  
Sometimes he could almost grasp reality again. He'd hear a voice, feel a  
  
touch, and know that he was close. But then the pain and the mockery would  
  
return and it was just too much for him to bare.  
  
So, he stopped trying and waited.  
  
Death didn't seem like such a bad option now. Outside the darkness there  
  
was only emptiness awaiting for him, and in it there was only pain. He was  
  
lost.  
  
There were times when a bright and sharp, silver light would cut through  
  
the abyss and a soft, even voice would reach him. He desperately tried to  
  
follow it, but it was as if the light itself was hesitant to meet him and  
  
it would disappear again.  
  
It was so dark there that he couldn't even see his own body, and after a  
  
while of having lost contact with everything, he begun forgetting he had  
  
one. All until he felt moisture on where his hand should have been. It was  
  
warm and painful, but that pain was born out of love, so it was  
  
comforting.  
  
That small sensation was so real, like anything he'd felt in months, that  
  
he wanted to scream out of sheer joy. It didn't last, but he clung to the  
  
memory of it with everything in him.  
  
It had been all he'd needed to regain hope, and it had made the darkness  
  
seem less oppressive. He thought he could hear a low humming, but unlike  
  
everything he'd thought he'd heard, this he couldn't tell if it came from  
  
outside or from inside him, so he just relaxed and enjoyed it while it  
  
lasted.  
  
****************  
  
"Shaoran!" the twelve-year-old girl waved cheerfully to the young boy  
  
waiting in the middle of the airport's hall.  
  
Li had been worried sick about her when he hadn't shown. The sound of her  
  
voice the other night was enough to tell him she was about to brake, but  
  
seeing the false smile on her face now confirmed it. Sakura rarely worn  
  
such a painful expression on her face.  
  
Sakura and her father, who looked ten years older, approached him both  
  
with a kind smile on their faces and a shadow over their eyes. Shaoran  
  
wouldn't have expected anything less. For what he'd heard, Touya had  
  
completely lost his mind in a matter of days. As much as he disliked the  
  
annoying young man, he knew how much he meant to Sakura, hence, it hurt  
  
him.  
  
"How are you?" he said trying to convey the worry in his voice and make  
  
the question sound casual.  
  
Sakura sighed and her smile faltered.  
  
"I'm a little tired, that's all. I didn't get much sleep last night."  
  
"I know. You should get some rest though. So that you can be there for  
  
your brother. You can't do that if you're worn out." Li avoided saying  
  
that to her face. He didn't want to see the pain in her eyes when he  
  
mentioned Touya. But he knew he should say it nonetheless. Sakura sighed  
  
again.  
  
"I know you're right. First we should go back to the hospital, right dad?"  
  
Fujitaka nodded absentmindedly. "Eriol and Tomoyo-chan are meeting us  
  
there. I know you had a long flight and you probably want to rest and eat  
  
something, we can. . ."  
  
Shaoran waved her off.  
  
"I can eat something at the hospital. Besides, it's not that long of a  
  
flight anyway. I'm not tired."  
  
Sakura smiled honestly this time and whispered.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
*****************************  
  
"I wonder what it's taking them so long." Tomoyo said with concern.  
  
"Fujitaka looked so tired, he shouldn't have been driving. I would have  
  
lend them my limo but I didn't think of it at the time. . ."  
  
Eriol smiled at the girl sitting next to him warmly.  
  
"Trust me, they are ok."  
  
"Oh! You can know this things, can't you?" Eriol nodded. "Oh, thank god.  
  
I'd die if anything happens to Sakura." She almost cries.  
  
Eriol's smile widened.  
  
"How's Tanaka-chan?" he asked innocently, but Tomoyo smiled in  
  
recognition. She wasn't one to miss a hint.  
  
"She's fine, thank you." From the corner of her eye she saw three figures  
  
approaching and she bolted out of her seat. "Here they are! Sakura-chan!  
  
Li-kun!" she waved, raising her voice as much as she could on that  
  
hospital's hall.  
  
Sakura practically ran to her and Tomoyo held her tightly.  
  
"Everything is going to be ok, my dear Sakura. Don't worry." Eriol cooed.  
  
Tomoyo nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"He's right, you know? Eriol knows this stuff." She said with a wink.  
  
Observant as she was, she couldn't miss the expression of shock on Li's  
  
face.  
  
TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

SHOW ME  
  
A/N: I don't really remember if it was snowing the day Clow died. The notion   
  
just felt right, but then, I wanted for Clow to die during the fall, because of   
  
my personal beliefs. See? I got all mystical writing this. Anyway, except for   
  
the last part, this could almost be a stand alone. The last part makes the   
  
connection with the ongoing story so, yes, this flash back has a purpose.  
  
Another thingy, what with everyone writing their fanfictions in this particular   
  
fandom half in english half in japanese. i admit it, it looks great, but when I   
  
saw the show, they never spoke half in english half in japanese, so it seems   
  
rather pointless. Maybe it's anime fandom sacrilege, I don't give a rat's ass.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
CHAPTER 7  
  
Minus a low, almost inaudible humming, the dim lit room was in complete   
  
silence. The soft caress of the moonlight bathed it all, giving it a surreal   
  
lilac glow. That was magic, in it's purest form. And as mere pieces of that   
  
magical whole that was the world, humans had never been able to create anything   
  
as beautiful or perfect.   
  
But humans are, after all, creative beings. It is that earning and imagination   
  
that separates them from other living creatures. That, and pride, which makes   
  
them stop trying to duplicate the world and start to create it at their own   
  
image. Artists are the ones playing god, not doctors, since an artist's impulse   
  
resides on their love for their creations, and not on their power over them.  
  
Love.  
  
What a force it is. Capable of creating entire universes and destroying them as   
  
easily when turned into hate. Because hate isn't the opposite of love, just it's   
  
darkest side. Everything in the universe comes with a dark side, an apparent   
  
opposite. To the eternal light and warmth of the sun there are black wholes,   
  
same in concept, but taken into a destructive level. To the light, there is   
  
darkness, both opposite at first sight, but one completely dependant on the   
  
other to exist. The same applies to good and evil, peace and war. The ying and   
  
the yang.   
  
That duality of the universe, so simple and so complex at the same time had   
  
always been the wise warlock's motivation. From day one he'd craved to   
  
understand it completely. So, since he was a bit of an artist, he'd tried to   
  
capture it in his own way.  
  
One of the things that, as he saw it, were one of the most beautiful examples of   
  
duality was the moon; and not for the obvious reasons. Yes, the moon was   
  
commonly regarded as the opposite of the sun, even in those days, when that   
  
concept had been refuted by science. But the moon carried duality on itself. For   
  
it could only glow one half at a time, forced to always be divided between light   
  
and darkness, much as the earth was, but, unlike with the earth, one could see   
  
that cycle; it repeated itself incessantly. The light chasing the darkness away,   
  
just to have the latter do the same once the light had ran it's course.   
  
It was only natural that, when the time arrived to choose astral rulers for his   
  
guardians, one of them would be the moon. And if there was moon, it needed sun;   
  
but from the start, he'd been partial to the moon guardian, making him as much   
  
as himself as he could. It hadn't turned out just as he'd expected it, but there   
  
wasn't a hint of regret about the results.   
  
Yue was, for all intents and purposes, the moon. For that, even when he'd tried   
  
to fight the impulse, his white angel had always been his favourite.   
  
That day had ended as so many others had. The ancient souled warlock reading on   
  
his favourite couch, the old sitting room lighted by moonlight from his left, and   
  
by the hearth from his right. And of course, by the hearth rested Kerberos. Clow   
  
smiled despite himself. Yue might have had a privileged position since being   
  
created, and he surely had earned his place as his favourite by being so much   
  
more that what Clow had expected, but Kerberos had won a place on the warlock's   
  
heart as well, just by being his annoying self.   
  
On his left, sited at his feet and resting his head on Clow's knee was Yue.   
  
At first he had objected to the moon guardian's habit, considering it degrading   
  
and unsuitable for such a dignified and powerful creature. But Yue's adoration   
  
for him wasn't a pose. The angel didn't do it to suck up to him, he did it   
  
because it was the time of the day when the guardian needed to stop protecting   
  
and start being protected.   
  
One does not deny rest to someone who sleeps with one eye open and on a sitting   
  
position just to keep them safe. If that was what Yue needed to rest, he   
  
couldn't say anything against it. Besides, it had never been unpleasant having   
  
that beautiful young being resting by his side, silently asking for affection.   
  
As quiet and laconic as Yue appeared to be, his heart was far more sensitive and   
  
vulnerable than that of the sun guardian. It made Clow far more protective of   
  
him than Kerberos, though he was happy the lion was thick-skinned. Specially   
  
that night.  
  
The sun was beginning to set earlier those days, and Clow Reed was starting to   
  
feel nature dying around him. Autumn was the most painful season of all, while   
  
winter was the most exhausting. Sometimes he'd curse his luck. There wasn't many   
  
people as powerful as him, and most sorcerers envied him for it. He'd faced many   
  
of them on their attempt to boost their wounded egos. But for all his battle   
  
scars and all the tiring work he'd carried thorough his entire life, he'd given   
  
anything to explain to all of those who'd envied him; to make them understand   
  
that they really didn't wish to have his powers. For they had always reside on   
  
nature, more than on the stars, as most of the sorcerer's powers. And there   
  
wasn't anything more violent and cruel than mother nature, if one had to feel it   
  
inside one's soul, raging, destroying, dying, being born, over and over again.   
  
That day would end like many others had. The summer was ending like many times   
  
before. The moon was full again.   
  
Clow felt moisture on his knee, trespassing his velvet cloak. He sighed sadly and   
  
put the book he was reading, his favourite book, aside. There was no regret on   
  
his decisions. Clow wasn't perfect, he'd make mistakes, but when you are as   
  
wise as someone who'd live as long as he had and seen as much as he had, you   
  
know mistakes aren't things to regret, but to learn from. But he still hurt   
  
inside, seeing the pain he was causing. He'd make sure to fix that, when the   
  
time was right.  
  
For a long time he just stared at the mass of white hair resting on his knee.   
  
The face that belonged to the owner of that silky hair was buried on the fabric   
  
of his cloak. He spent long minutes just stroking that hair and humming, just as   
  
he'd done when his beautiful angel was upset with Kerberos, or confused, like   
  
during his first months on this world. It was an old lullaby his grandmother   
  
used to sing to him, ages ago. It had become a mantra between the two. Clow half   
  
suspected that most of the time Yue would be faking sorrow, since no lullaby   
  
could bring the bright, innocent smile that would decorate the angel's face once   
  
it was time for bed. The warmth on those crystal blue eyes was rather ironic   
  
most of the time, considering the feline eyes looked like ice.  
  
But Clow knew for certain there would be no bright smile that night. The time of   
  
the light had ended for the moon.   
  
It was precisely the moon what had given him the idea for his last gift to his   
  
favoured child.  
  
The warlock took the delicate chin with one hand and lifted Yue's face to meet   
  
his. It was weird and most inappropriate to see those eyes red-rimmed. The snow   
  
beauty, who at the time looked as helpless and scared as a trapped bunny, looked   
  
pleadingly at him; a million questions and pleas unspoken evident on his face.   
  
Yue always wore his heart on his sleeve, that was why Clow loved him so much.   
  
There was no deceit possible where Yue was concerned.  
  
Clow smiled tenderly and whispered.  
  
"Come outside with me, my dear Yue. Lets leave Kerberos sleep, there's something   
  
I need to tell you."  
  
Without a word, the moon guardian rose from the floor and headed for the door.   
  
He walked a few steps ahead oh the warlock, hiding his tear stricken face under   
  
his impossibly long bangs.   
  
It was funny to see the garden covered with snow in the middle of September, but   
  
Snow hadn't taken the news so well, and Clow was very understanding of the   
  
card's need to mourn, as well as a bit flattered and delighted to be able to see   
  
how beautiful the garden looked covered in white one more time.  
  
Yue remain standing under the doorframe, looking downcast, as Clow knew he was   
  
feeling. He met his eyes and shivered at the shadows he found in them. Eyes that   
  
were at times bright and joyful, sometimes deep and pensive, but never as cold   
  
and somber as now. It was time.  
  
"Yue, I'm sorry." he said sincerely. Yue took a shaky breath and nodded.  
  
"I understand, Clow." he answered coldly.  
  
"No you don't." Clow smiled. "I can't make you understand, and that's why I'm   
  
sorry. Not for my choice." the taller man saw a flash of hurt cross the   
  
guardian's eyes, that was soon replaced with the same cocky attitude he'd wear   
  
for Kerberos when they were arguing. He couldn't help the smile coming back to   
  
his face.  
  
"Is that what you needed to tell me, *master*?" Yue always accentuated that   
  
title whenever he was feeling left out and aggravated in some way. Some things   
  
would never change.  
  
"No, it's not." Clow walked closer to him, but Yue took a step back. "Don't be   
  
stubborn and come here." he said with his usual smile, pulling the slender form   
  
into a tight hug. Eventually, as he knew it would happen, Yue melted in his arms   
  
and stifled a sob. Clow begun stroking his hair and rubbing his back in a   
  
soothing motion. "Shhhhh. It'll be alright. I promise."  
  
Yue shook helplessly in his arms.  
  
"I love you! You can't leave me!" the moon guardian cried with a muffled voice.   
  
Clow tightened his hold on him.  
  
"I love you too, Yue, you know that." Clow cooed, soothingly. But Yue shook free   
  
from the embrace, with a desperate look on his face.  
  
"No! You don't understand, I *love* you!"  
  
Clow sighed sadly. He was hoping Yue would be able to hold his peace. He didn't   
  
feel like braking his beloved angel's heart twice in one day. He almost smiles;   
  
he'd seen Yue's future, he'd even planned it, but Yue wasn't as predictable as   
  
everyone thought, and one look into the guardian's future told him he'd defy   
  
Clow's plans. Not that he minded in the least. But he amusedly remembered   
  
seeing Yue delivering as speech exactly like the one he should have delivered at   
  
that moment. Should have, but wasn't going to.   
  
One thing his beloved Yue needed to hang on until that faithful time was hope,   
  
he was going to give him that. Hope, and another gift he knew Yue wouldn't   
  
appreciate, or even understand.   
  
The sorcerer approached him once more, this time taking the delicate face with   
  
both hands and smiling warmly. He slowly leaned his face over to kiss Yue, but   
  
the moon guardian backed away, just slightly, disbelief and happiness showing on   
  
his face.   
  
"Is this pity?" Yue asked, fearful. Clow's smile widened.  
  
"Do you believe in fate, Yue? It'd be really funny if you didn't." he smirked,   
  
with his usual cheerful manner. Yue almost smiled at that, and Clow could see   
  
it.  
  
"Of course I believe in fate, Clow." he said uncertain.  
  
"I told you the role you'll play in choosing the next master. And you will,   
  
eventually, have a new master." Yue's apprehension at this was evident. "Of   
  
course you'll be harsh on your judgement, and find someone who's really worthy   
  
of you, Kerberos and the cards. But I promise you, Yue, I will be back. And the   
  
day we meet again, that day you'll know what loving and being loved in return   
  
means."   
  
Of course he knew Yue would take his statement the wrong way. In a way, that was   
  
better. Yue would never understand that Clow's destiny had been creating him,   
  
teaching him, loving him as much as he could, but he wasn't meant to be with   
  
him. If he were to tell Yue the truth straightforward, it would only do more   
  
damage than good. The stubborn angel would pass on that gift out of pride, and   
  
Clow couldn't have that. Still, he hurt upon seeing the pure, innocent joy that   
  
shown on Yue's face. It was time to give him his ultimate gift.  
  
Clow, without hesitation, pressed his lips upon Yue's. Yue froze in shock at   
  
first, but soon begun returning the kiss, and Clow smiled inwardly. There was no   
  
passion in that kiss, just tenderness. A glow enveloped them both and Yue   
  
whimpered in confusion before passing out.  
  
Clow tenderly deposited the limp body on the ground, admiring his work.   
  
"From now on, my dear Yue, just like the moon that served me to name you, your   
  
soul will be divided. The grief you felt tonight will sleep while your happiness   
  
shines. And while when you're happy you won't remember the sorrow, you'll be   
  
able to remember the happiness when your wounded hart is needed. Both faces   
  
won't meet again, until you are ready to heal." he stroked the now shorter hair   
  
and rosy cheeks. "I bet amber suits your eyes wonderfully. Sleep now." he kissed   
  
the boy's cheek.  
  
Dawn was approaching. With one motion of his hand he sealed Kerberos back on the   
  
book, along with the cards. The book would find it's place where it would be   
  
found later. As for the young boy in front of him, he'd sleep, living memories of   
  
happy times and protected of the outside world until it was time to wake up.  
  
There was a faint orange gleam on the horizon. Clow smiled.   
  
"No more sunrises for this old sorcerer. At least not for now."  
  
The guardians would remember his death as if they had been there. It wasn't for   
  
them he'd kept them away on his final moments. He couldn't bare the idea of   
  
saying good bye to his beloved children.   
  
Winter was the season where nature gathered it's energy. It was a time for   
  
planning and serious work. Spring couldn't come with nature unprepared. But this   
  
winter would be a little longer.   
  
Clow closed his eyes. Yes, autumn had been the right choice. he let himself be   
  
taken over by the forces of nature and felt himself slip away.   
  
************************  
  
Yue woke up with a start. He was as disoriented as Yukito would have been a few   
  
months ago. Soon he remembered where he was. Touya's hospital room, sitting in a   
  
very uncomfortable position besides the young man's bed. Yukito had convinced   
  
Touya's father and sister to go home for the night, get rest and be back in the   
  
morning with whatever Touya might need, while he stayed with him. Sometime   
  
during the night, Yue had emerged. But that was the last he remembered.  
  
How could have he fallen asleep on his true form? Anyone could have seen him!   
  
The moonlight played with the bars on the windows, making patterns on the   
  
walls, giving Yue a sense of deja vu,  
  
The silence of that early morning was disrupted by Yue's strangle sob when he   
  
remembered the dream he'd just had. His memories of his master's death were   
  
limited to Clow informing him and Kerberos of his decision and then burying him   
  
on the garden. Those last moments with him must have been buried deep in his   
  
mind. How could he forget?!  
  
Just then he realised he'd been cheated. Clow was back, but he didn't want him.   
  
What went wrong? Clow had never been a liar; a joker, maybe, but never a liar.  
  
He felt a familiar sensation enveloping him and he gasped.  
  
"Clow?!" he almost yelled, and hear a soft chuckle coming from the door.  
  
"You're going to wake up everyone." the younger, yet recognisable voice said   
  
amusedly.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Yue asked softly.  
  
"Making sure you don't start spreading the voice around that I'm a liar." The   
  
ancient souled boy walked up to him and rested his hands on Yue's shoulders. Yue   
  
shivered.  
  
"You aren't a liar then?" He asked, scorned. What was it with this man/boy that   
  
made it impossible for him to keep his laconic facade like he'd do with everyone   
  
else?  
  
Eriol smiled sweetly, but there was always that joking side of that smile that   
  
made it impossible to fully trust the sorcerer.  
  
"No, Yue, I'm not. I must say I'm a little disappointed though."  
  
Despite himself, Yue lowered his head, ashamed.  
  
"Why is that?" he asked fearful.  
  
"Because you've let the past take over your being. Your memories aren't even   
  
accurate anymore, and no..." the boy chuckled, seeing Yue's sarcastic expression   
  
at that comment. "...I don't mean the ones I took the liberty of altering."  
  
Yue looked baffled.  
  
"What do you mean by that, Clow?"  
  
"I'd suggest you follow your own advice and analyse your true feelings Yue. It   
  
worked for Li and Sakura, and if I remember correctly, it was you who gave them   
  
such advice."  
  
"My feelings? Stop playing games, Clow!"  
  
Eriol laughed.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry, but that's not very likely to happen anytime soon. And   
  
about your feelings, that you have to figure out for yourself." There was a hint   
  
of sadness on Eriol's face as he gazed at the young man sleeping restrained on   
  
the bed. "I suggest you hurry."  
  
Touya woke up with a wail. That irrational look on his face, screaming and   
  
crying out for help. Yue immediately changed into Yukito, staring at the scene   
  
developing before him from the back of his mind. He could also see Eriol was   
  
gone, but not his aura. His master's words echoed in his head so loud he was   
  
sure Yukito would hear them.  
  
How he wished he could be Yukito; forget about his pain, about his loyalty to   
  
Clow and be able to free all the feelings building up inside of him.  
  
To be able to love Touya freely...  
  
The last thought was unexpected and surprised Yue to the point where he'd to   
  
get away as fast as he could from the taller boy, his screaming and his pain.   
  
Away from his feelings.  
  
No, they were Yukito's feelings! Not his!   
  
He managed to manipulate his *false* form into leaving the hospital.  
  
Yukito suddenly needed to breathe some fresh air. The doctors would take care of   
  
Touya's episode. There was nothing he could do.   
  
TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

SHOW ME by Konnie  
  
A/N: Sorry about the delay. Life got in the way.   
  
Thanks for the reviews, that though few, are very nice. I myself tend to like things most people hate, and I happen to think the things I like are the best, so a few good reviews mean as much to me, or maybe more, than a hundred good reviews. Of course, I never got a hundred of those, so I can't be so sure. ;)  
  
On with the story!  
  
CHAPTER 8  
  
For the first time in her best friend's life as a card captor, Tomoyo didn't ask to tape her adventures, though she did bring a costume for her to wear, since it was a sort of pact between the two. If she had Tomoyo's costume on, she had to return it with a smile. Sakura surely looked wonderful as usual, and maybe she'd regret later not having taped her in action, but her friend was not happy at all about the mission at hand, and Tomoyo didn't think it appropriate.   
  
  
  
The three kids and sun guardian made their way through the hospital's grounds with a severe expression. As Shaoran had pointed out just a few moments before, they shouldn't be depressed about everything that had happened. On the contrary, he'd said he'd felt an aura coming from Touya's room, and that meant their problem could be solved the way they knew best; with magic.  
  
Sakura had known this, the cards had told her, but she'd confessed she didn't felt confident enough about her powers to make her brother's well being depend on them. Shaoran had scolded her for it, telling her that it wasn't a time for insecurities. Tomoyo inwardly smiled. Li-kun always knew what to say to bring out the best out of her beloved friend. There was so much love on the young boy's face for Sakura, that Tomoyo couldn't possibly envy or resent him. She could only be happy for Li-kun and Sakura.   
  
They came to a stop just outside the wing of the hospital where Touya's room was, and Sakura gathered her surroundings anxiously. Kero-chan acquired a grave pose.  
  
"Are you sure you didn't recognise the aura, brat?"  
  
Tomoyo giggled softly upon seeing Li-kun turn red with anger and suppress an outburst.  
  
"Yes,..." he answered a bit stiffly, "It did seem familiar. I have it on the tip of my brain, but I still can't figure out whose aura it was."  
  
Sakura shook her head, frustrated.  
  
"I don't remember feeling an aura! Why would anyone want to hurt my brother? He doesn't even have powers anymore!"   
  
"Well,..." Kero started, "I can feel an aura here, coming from there." he pointed to Touya's window. "It's too vague for you to have noticed if you had your mind on other issues, which I'm afraid you had, Sakura. Don't feel bad about it. Yue doesn't seem to have noticed either."  
  
"The stuffed animal is right, Sakura..." Li said, giving Kero a triumphant look for a split second, since he knew the sun guardian wouldn't be able to reply. Kero was fuming, but remained quiet. "The presence it's too vague and hard to distinguish, specially inside a hospital. There's enough spirits around here to confuse the best of us."   
  
Sakura nodded wearily. She didn't indicate being afraid of Li-kun's comment about ghosts, and Tomoyo decided that either her friend was too worried about her brother to notice or had grown a lot since last time she'd had to face spirits. Maybe it was both.  
  
They all took a sit on the stairs of the entrance and Sakura sighed.  
  
"Now what, Kero? What should I do?"  
  
Kero looked pensive for a moment.  
  
"You'll have to find out who's doing this, I guess. You could try to use the cards to break whatever spell they're using. Since it seems to be affecting your brother's mind, I suggest you use a card that can affect his mind to do so."  
  
Sakura's face brightened.   
  
"Illusion or dream, right?"  
  
"Yes. But you have to want to use them with all your heart, remember?" Kero stated seriously. Sakura rose from her seat and begun running inside, enthusiasm showing on her face.  
  
"Don't worry about that!" she yelled and disappeared from sight. The rest stared at each other for a moment before following her inside.  
  
***********************************  
  
Now that it had been called to her attention, Sakura couldn't understand how was it possible for her to have missed the obvious aura that lingered on her brother's hospital room. she wondered if maybe that aura had been evident on her own home without her noticing. She couldn't help but to feel a bit guilty about it but, as Shaoran had said, there was no use for that now. Sakura had a hint on how to solve the problem, and she'd better put all her energy into doing so.  
  
The spartan room looked particularly peaceful, and so did Touya, which made her feel a bit better about the whole thing. She was scared to death that she would make a mistake and ruin probably her brother's only chance at recovery.   
  
Silently, she pulled out the key she carried always with her and conjured the words to call out the powers that laid in it.   
  
"Release!" she finished and held the staff on her hand, pondering on whether she should use The illusion or The dream. It occurred to her that she wouldn't be able to see what was happening in her brother's mind unless she used the cards on herself, instead of Touya. She was at a loss for a few moments. She couldn't figure out a way to make it work.   
  
Finally, though not too convinced about the chance she stood, she came up with an idea. holding The dream close to her heart and closing her eyes, trying to convey the urgency of the matter.  
  
"Dream!" she finally called. The figure stood before her, waiting for instructions. The expression on the card's face told Sakura that it was worried about her. Sometimes it was hard to believe the bond she'd achieved with all 53 cards as well as their guardians. "Please," she asked kindly, "Take me to where my brother is."  
  
The card seemed to ponder on her request for a few seconds, shifting her gaze between Sakura and Touya, but finally nodded and Sakura was enveloped in darkness.  
  
It was weird being in someone else's dream world. Everything had a different sense to it than in her own dreams. She'd said the air smelled different, felt different, but she knew she would be rationalizing the sensations.   
  
The darkness around her though, didn't feel like Touya. It was more of an absence than a presence; like stepping into the void, but being able to feel there used to be something there. She drew another card from her pocket.  
  
"Light!"   
  
Now she could see herself, but the darkness remained. She guessed the reason would be there was nothing for the light to reflect on. That place felt like complete abandonment, and just thinking her brother was there, unable to get out, sent shivers down her spine.  
  
"Brother?!" she shouted as loud as she could. "Touya, where are you?!"  
  
She heard a soft whimper. It sounded close and far at the same time and for once Sakura wished dreams weren't so irrational.  
  
"Touya, it's me, Sakura! Can you hear me?"  
  
"Sakura?" came a timid response. She tried to locate the voice, but it had been too soft and too short a speech to do it completely.  
  
"It's me, brother, please let me find you," she pleaded.  
  
"You're not real," Touya whispered, resigned.  
  
"Yes I am! It's me Touya; you know it's me! Now let me see you."  
  
  
  
"I can't. I can't even see myself. Get out of here." His brother's words were rude, but his tone was desperate, and she was resolved more than ever to find him and drag him out.  
  
"I can help you, Touya. Just let me see you."  
  
There was silence for a long moment, and Sakura feared Touya had just decided to ignore her. But then she saw a hint of something barely noticeable. Like a shadow in the darkness, which was illogical, but pretty much the only way to describe it. She came closer to it. The light begun outlining the figure; soon enough she could recognize Touya lying on a fetal position on what would have been the floor, if there had been one.   
  
Around him she could sense that familiar aura again, though it was too faint to recognise. Sakura knelt beside her brother and tenderly started running a hand through his hair. Touya lifted his eyes to meet hers. They were filled with pain and despair so much that Sakura wanted to cry.   
  
"Sakura...? It doesn't feel like you, you're not real. Get out of my head."  
  
"Yes, I am. Don't be stubborn brother." she said tenderly. He seemed reluctant to believe her, but still leaned into the caress.   
  
It was weird having to take care of Touya, instead of the other way around, but it felt good to be able to give something back to him. Touya was always trying to conceal his worry for her, but she knew how much he'd done for her.  
  
Touya smiled a little, but his gaze still seemed distant.  
  
"Kaijuu, what are you doing here?" Sakura returned the smile.  
  
"I'm getting you out of here. Father is really worried about you, you know? And Yukito-kun too."  
  
"Yuki?"   
  
"Yes. Now why don't you come back with me?"  
  
Touya slowly sat up. He looked a little more composed.  
  
"Can we do that? Can we leave?" he started breathing faster. "Because every time I try to get out,...it's...it hurts so much I..."  
  
Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Shhh. It'll be ok. Give me your hand." he did so, and with her free hand Sakura fetched another card. A few months back she wouldn't have been able to use so many cards in one day, but her powers were stronger with each passing day. "Shield!" she commanded, and a translucid sphere of energy surrounded them both.   
  
In such a small place, the faint aura became stronger, instead of disappearing as Sakura expected. It was suffocating. She turned to see Touya, who looked terrified. He tried to let go of her hand, but Sakura tightened her grip.  
  
"C'mon, brother! We have to get out of here NOW!"  
  
"No! Let me go!" he started looking around, as if looking for someone. "It wasn't me! I didn't do it, please!"   
  
It was getting harder and harder to control Touya. Besides, whatever it was upsetting him was starting to affect her as well.   
  
"Touya! Who are you talking to?! Who's doing this?!" the shield started fading and Touya knelt down, gasping for air.  
  
"Help me, please, Sakura..." he whispered.  
  
An overwhelming pain took over her. She could feel herself slipping away from wherever she was, but felt too weak to do anything about it.  
  
"Touya..." her grip on Touya's hand loosened, and her brother begun fading as the shield was. Sakura's eyes filled with tears as she realized she'd failed. " I'm...I'm sorry brother."  
  
****************************  
  
"She seems in a sort of trance." Tomoyo said softly. Sakura laid limply on Shaoran's arms. The boy had a faint blush on his cheeks, but held Sakura safely.   
  
"We shouldn't disturb her," Kero said, "She's probably trying to pull her brother out from the depths of his mind. That requires a lot out of her, I'm sure."  
  
"I know. I just hope it works out alright." answered Shaoran.  
  
Suddenly, Touya begun shaking and Sakura woke up with a start. She yelled her brother's name and broke up in uncontrollable sobs. Dumbfounded, Li could only stare at her, until she hugged him desperately. He tightened his grip on her.  
  
"What happened?" he asked softly.  
  
"I failed! I couldn't help him and...God, there was so much pain!" she cried.  
  
"You can't help him." said someone standing in the shadows by the door. Sakura lifted her eyes, and saw Eriol standing there, looking grim. "This test isn't meant for you, my dear Sakura."  
  
Shaoran stood up, fuming.  
  
"It's you, isn't it?!" he yelled, "You're the one doing this?!"  
  
Both Sakura and Tomoyo stared at the black haired boy in confusion, while Kero's face turned red in anger.  
  
"Clow..." the guardian whispered. "You better explain this or I swear..."  
  
Eriol smiled faintly.  
  
"I know, you deserve an explanation, but I'm afraid I cannot give one yet. Just trust me, it'd be worse for him if I hadn't done this. I'm sorry to have to put you through it though."  
  
He turned around and left the room. Sakura started running after him, but once she reached the hall, he was no longer in sight.  
  
TBC 


	9. Chapter 9

SHOW ME by Konnie  
  
A/N: Uhm...I don't really have anything to say...er...lemme see...Oh! Right! Anyone knows how to find a beta reader and have them fixing your stories for free? Do they charge? Do you have to sell them your soul? Do they try to change your plot and ruin your baby...er...I mean, fic? How does it work?  
  
Read on that this is almost over!  
  
CHAPTER 9   
  
There was only one time a year when Tsukishiro Yukito felt anything resembling to depression. It was inexplicable and ephemeral, but a constant in his life. The first days of autumn the world would seem colourless somehow; like mourning about something he couldn't remember, but shouldn't forget.  
  
When he was a kid, his grandmother would let him sit on her lap and rest his head on her shoulder while she'd sooth him and sing to him a nice song to cheer him up. Countless times he'd ask her why was that time so upsetting to him; why without any apparent reason he'd feel like crying all the time. She'd brush him off and say that everyone felt sad once in a while; that he was a very special little boy and that was why it was so strange for him.   
  
Every year had been the same up until three years ago. It was September 21st and he was feeling gloomy as usual for that day. Sited on his favourite spot on the schoolyard, and for once gazing down at his lunch a little reluctantly. Not too reluctantly though, as he was munching down his huge sandwich and sighing at the same time when his best friend sat by his side with a smile on his face. Touya had spotted his downcast mood immediately and went out of his way to cheer him up, succeeding just by trying and being his usual self. He couldn't understand it, but having Touya close seemed to calm that hole in his heart.  
  
Knowing what he knew now, he guessed that sadness was due to Yue. His memories were fake; his grandmother had never comforted him. Everything about his childhood and his youth had been a dream. Everything but Touya.  
  
It seemed almost funny, sitting under that tree outside the hospital and holding a yellow leaf between his fingers. It was autumn now, but Touya wasn't there to cheer him up, his current sadness was far from being inexplicable and Yukito feared it wouldn't be ephemeral.  
  
It felt wrong, somehow. He sensed he shouldn't feel sad at all; as if he wasn't meant to.  
  
He was startled out of his musings by the ruffling of leaves from nearby. He raised his eyes to see Sakura running towards where he was sited. She had tears in her eyes, that where searching frantically for something. Yukito stood up quickly and rushed to meet her.  
  
"Sakura!" he waved at her and she met his eyes. Yukito's heart shrank at the sight. Her eyes were puffy and filled with questions. He knelt down to see her face to face. "Tell me what's wrong," he said kindly. Sakura took a shaky breath and shook her head no. "Is it something you'd rather talk with my other self?" he knew she'd say yes, but he still felt a bit bad when she did and he couldn't understand why. He then settled into a restless sleep.  
  
**********************  
  
"It's Eriol! He's the one doing this to my brother!" Sakura cried even before Yue had time to unfold his wings. From a distance he could see Kerberos, Tomoyo and Li running after Sakura.  
  
  
  
"Did you hear me, Yue?!" Sakura said anxiously. "Eriol is the one doing this! You have to help me find him!"  
  
"...I..." It was his duty. He had to protect his mistress at all cost. And yet his feet seemed glued on the spot and his brain was caught in some sort of conflict he couldn't quite understand. Sakura looked at him curiously. The trio finally caught up with them.  
  
"Where were you?! You're supposed to know when Sakura is in danger!" Kerberos scolded him, changing into his true form. It was better that way, since Yue had a hard time taking the sun guardian seriously if he looked like a stuffed animal.  
  
"Kero, don't be mean. Yue, can you also feel Clow's aura? Kero said I shouldn't feel bad about not noticing it. That I was too worried about Touya. I'm sure it was the same for you. But try to focus. Please Yue, can you sense it?!"   
  
Everything was happening a thousand times a second, making Yue dizzy. It took him a few moments to process what she'd said, and then he could only lower his gaze, ashamed.  
  
"I...yes, I can sense it." he was unable to lie, it wasn't in him, so he couldn't stop his answer from sounding the way it did. Apparently the tone didn't go unnoticed by Sakura, because her expression changed, first into confusion and then into hurt.  
  
"You can?" she whispered.  
  
"Yes."   
  
Sakura took a step forward.  
  
"And you found out..."  
  
"Earlier today. A few hours ago." he just wished he could disappear. He'd betrayed his mistress, so she would probably take care of that soon.  
  
Sakura stared at him. Shock then left room for anger and Yue suddenly felt a lot smaller.  
  
"You knew?! And you didn't tell me?!"  
  
"I...I...yes. I didn't... I...I'm sorry mistress." he used the respectful tone in order to show her he was still faithful to her; like he would have done with Clow. 'Except I would have never done this to Clow', he thought, wincing. Kerberos turned red.  
  
"What's wrong with you?! Have you forgotten your job? What were you thinking?!" the lion yelled at him.  
  
He was expecting the punishment he knew he deserved from his mistress. Instead, he received a soft question.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought you loved Touya. Don't you want him to get better?"  
  
He looked up, startled. He'd expected a question about his loyalty, not about his feelings for the mistress' older brother. He was silent for a long time. Kerberos seemed about to explode in fury, Sakura stared at him expectantly. The expression on Li's face baffled him, though. The young boy was staring at him intently, but Yue couldn't read his face.  
  
"I... care about him. I want him to get better. He's your brother and besides I owe him a lot..."  
  
"Your life." Kerberos interrupted coldly. Yue nodded.   
  
"But you love him, right? What could have stopped you from telling me?" Sakura was trying very hard to excuse him, and he knew it. That little girl always thought the best from everyone. "Did you know I wasn't strong enough to help him? Is that it?" This took Yue by surprise.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I tried to help him. I...I went inside his mind, but...I wasn't strong enough," she said in a small voice.  
  
Yue could have sworn his heart broke into a million pieces. He didn't want to get involved; didn't want to face Clow's trials again. But if his mistress, the one with the power to support his own life now, wasn't able to help Touya, then no one would.  
  
"Why would Clow...?" Yue whispered. Sakura gave him a saddened look.  
  
"Eriol said this test wasn't for me. I don't understand it either. I have to figure out a way to talk to Eriol and convince him to leave Touya alone. He's a good person. I'm sure he didn't mean..."  
  
"I'm sorry mistress," Yue interrupted. He had to get away from them. "I should have told you I knew Clow was behind this. I'm going to look for him."  
  
He was about to fly away, despite Sakura's confused look, but a very angry Kerberos stood in front of him, blocking his way.   
  
"You didn't answer her question. Do you love her brother?"   
  
Yue mimicked the closest he could to a smirk.  
  
"What do you care?"  
  
"Answer me!" the expression on his brother's face told him that his question, though apparently disconnected from the subject at hand, was very well justified. After all Kerberos knew him probably better than anyone, after Clow and...  
  
After Clow.  
  
"I told you..." he averted his eyes from the guardian and settled them on the girl "Sakura, I care about him. Yukito is the one who loves him...I..." this seemed to make the lion angrier.  
  
"What do you mean by that?!" Kerberos yelled exasperated, "You and Yukito are one and the same!"   
  
"No! I'm not...We aren't!" Yue felt offended and angry now as well. "Yukito and I...We couldn't be more different if we tried, he's just a false form, a glamour!"  
  
Li, who'd been silent through the conversation, let out a sarcastic laugh.  
  
"You know? The cards told Sakura that you had something to do with this, but I couldn't believe it. I'm starting to think they were right." Yue blinked.  
  
"What?! No!"  
  
"I'll give you something. Yukito is nothing but a glamour," the sarcastic tone of the boy surprised Yue. Li smirked. "Yukito is a mask. It's what you use to run away from your feelings. I've always wondered why you only showed up for a battle. You, Yue, are a coward. You chose to live of memories, of the past. It has been like that from the start with you. Making Sakura feel unworthy of being your mistress, shutting yourself out from everyone. And you can't stand that you can still get attached, god forbid even love, someone new. So you leave that part to Yukito, since he doesn't have your memories to cling to them. Well Yue..." his tone was filled with spite. Yue couldn't believe what he was hearing, and he couldn't believe this was the same little boy who he'd defeated a year before. How did he get so insightful with someone he barely knew? "If you like the past so much, then do everyone a favour and stay there."  
  
"Shaoran..." Sakura whispered. She looked as stunned as Yue felt.  
  
The moon guardian looked from one to the other. His heart throbbed with a kind of pain he hadn't felt in a long time. He realised he hadn't just betrayed Sakura's loyalty, he'd hurt her feelings, and that was even worse.  
  
"This is not my fault...I would never hurt..." Yue whispered, Kerberos interrupted him dryly.  
  
"You did. You've hurt Sakura. I'm afraid I agree with the brat here. I know you better than everyone here, and the kid is right. This is just like you. I'm sure you kept quiet just because you still feel loyalty towards Clow and forgot who your real mistress is."  
  
Li took Sakura's hand and glared at him one last time.  
  
"Let's go Sakura. We have to find Eriol."   
  
Sakura turned her head to look at him. The poor girl didn't understand half of it, but Yue could tell she was hurting; it was partly his fault, and partly the fault of the person he'd give his life for. Yue felt like scum. Li was right, and so was Kerberos. The two kids and guardian begun walking away from him. Yue noticed Tomoyo staid behind. She was staring at him kindly. She came closer to him and took his hand.  
  
"Don't be angry with them. They're very stressed out. What happened just now in her brother's room left them all very upset. They needed to let it all out, I guess. I'm sorry they took it out on you. You didn't deserve it."  
  
Yue shook his head.  
  
"At least I'm useful for something." he whispered. Tomoyo smiled tenderly.  
  
"Why do you say that? You've always been there for Sakura. She loves you very much."  
  
"No," Yue was starting to understand, "I know you're right, but so was Li-kun. He's right." it hurt a little to admit it, but it felt like a huge weight had been pulled out of his shoulders.  
  
"Then you should meditate about that. You're a good person, Yue. I've seen how much you care about Sakura and Touya. You'll figure it out."  
  
She gave him one last smile and Yue returned it the best he could, thankful.  
  
TBC 


	10. Chapter 10

SHOW ME by Konnie  
  
A/N: So, this is not the end, but...well, it's not, but it is, get me? I honestly don't know if the "scene", the one that had me rating this R on the first place, was even worth that rating. I turn red just to think I wrote that though. I think it's mild, and very tastefully done, but maybe I have no taste. You'll have to read and find out. It probably sucks anyway...The scene! Get your mind out of the gutter! :P  
  
Another thing, I may have been a tad aggressive in my whole "no Japanese in fics" speech. I was talking for myself, I should have said that. As some of you may know, English is my second language, and it honestly becomes really hard to have to add other languages to the equation, hence, I didn't see the point. I apologize if it sounded like anything else.   
  
Enjoy!   
  
CHAPTER 10  
  
Having recognised a problem might be the first step towards the solution, but Yue knew it didn't even meant knowing which way to start walking.  
  
  
  
He watched the retreating figures of his mistress and her friends until he lost sight of them. Li's words lingered in his mind. Could it be true? Was he hiding behind Yukito? The brown-eyed kid had been right about everything else, hadn't he? The truth was, he didn't know for certain what role Yukito played in his life. He tried to look at his dilemma from an objective point of view, focusing on what he had in common with his alter instead of the difference.  
  
  
  
He figured the natural thing to assume was that they were the same person, considering both shared the same body and one of them shared both their memories. Though that wasn't the only thing they shared. If he was honest, the line between him and Yukito had been fading for a while now. It had started when Touya had given him...them, his powers. That day, Yue had met the young man in person, and hadn't been able to get him off his thoughts ever since. When the thought of Touya got him off guard- and that was often- Yue would smile and forget about the continuous shadow over his soul. That was not supposed to happen, EVER. At least not until Clow returned.  
  
  
  
That same day Yukito had found out he wasn't human, that all his life was a lie and that he'd deprived his best friend from his most precious gift. He'd lost a bit of the cheerfulness that had been he's most distinct feature.   
  
And the one thing in common that this two seemingly opposite occurrences had been Touya.  
  
Yue knew that Yukito was still Yukito and nothing more. But every time either him or Yukito would stare at Touya's eyes, or hear his voice speaking his,...their name with so much tenderness and love; every time the dark haired boy would touch Yukito, Yue couldn't really tell the difference.   
  
Since the first day Yukito was awake to this world, while Yue still slept, Touya had been what united them. Those two years, all there was of him was Yukito, and he couldn't really say he hadn't lived back then. His memories of that time where as his own.   
  
Thinking about it was starting to cause him a headache. Only Clow Reed could come up with something so complicated.   
  
The bottom line was that no matter if Yue and Yukito were the same person. Yue was affecting Yukito's choices with his fears, and Yukito was confusing him with his love for Touya.  
  
Whatever test Clow had planned, it had been left very clear it was intended for him. He knew he was failing miserably. He'd hurt his mistress, his friend. Sakura had said that the very same day she'd defeated him, and as time passed he realised it was true. Sakura had given him her friendship and he'd never truly appreciated it.   
  
But at some point he'd accepted her as his new mistress. He could easily say he cared about her. He'd give his life for her and wouldn't regret it. He loved Sakura.   
  
And Touya...?  
  
Touya had been the same. He'd given him his friendship unconditionally. He'd given him part of his soul to keep him alive. And then he handed him his heart. Why hadn't he accepted Touya the same way?   
  
He couldn't say he didn't feel anything for the dark boy. On the contrary, it was so overwhelming what Yue felt for him, so different from what he'd felt for Clow. But then it couldn't be love, could it? He'd love Clow.  
  
Apparently his trail of thought hadn't proved to be any simpler than the previous one, since his headache was getting worse. He left his seat under the Sakura tree and concealed his wings so he could walk inside the hospital without having the staff thinking madness was contagious. Still, his attire wasn't as ordinary as to go around walking in public, so he tried to get there unseen.   
  
Maybe seeing Touya would clear his thoughts now that he wasn't fighting them. It worked for Yukito.  
  
********************  
  
Walking down the hall, Yue could feel Clow's aura getting stronger. All that analysis about himself and his alter; about his obsession with the past; none of that answered why Clow was doing this. Couldn't he just talk to him about it like everyone else? Trust Clow to make a mess out of everything, Yue thought with mild amusement.   
  
He stopped midway when he felt another aura coming from Touya's room. It was very much like his own, but this one had a slight warmth in it that he lacked. It felt like the power coming from the moon if the moon guardian had been Kerberos, and Yue immediately knew who it was. Filled with unease, Yue speeded up his pace and pay no attention to the noise he made when he slammed the door to Touya's room open.   
  
The moonlight outlined a figure sitting beside the window, and the first thing Yue was able to distinguish was a flash of crimson. Dread crept into his heart when he realised Touya's restrains had been undone and the bed was now empty.   
  
"Hello Yue..." she said without turning her head to look at him. "I thought you'd never come. I've been waiting here for a while. I even got a chance to see that little scene you all made down there." She pointed to the tree that had served him as a refuge just a few moments before.   
  
Yue took a step towards her, cautiously. The last thing he needed was to provoke her into a fight, no matter how much he wanted to punch her ugly face.   
  
"What are *you* doing here?!" Ruby Moon laughed.  
  
"Afraid I've come to replace you... again?" Yue winced despite himself, and was surprised to see Ruby Moon's face softening. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. As much as I'd like it, ...I'm not here to fight you."  
  
"Then why? What do you want and where's Touya?!" He tried to sound frightening, but came out looking scared. Usually Clow would send his guardians to do the dirty work, so to speak.  
  
"One thing at a time, Yue. You wouldn't be able to understand it if I tell you all at once anyway," she mocked him.  
  
Yue did his best to remain calmed.  
  
"Answer me this then. Why is Clow doing this? I don't understand what good could come out of this..."  
  
"See what I mean?" she laughed again. "Slow, slow Yue. Always so blind."  
  
"But what does that...ANYTHING, have to do with Touya?! Why hurt him?!!"  
  
Ruby Moon shook her head disapprovingly.  
  
"Everything has a reason, Yue. Eriol might not be the most ethical person in the world when it comes to fixing a problem, but he means well and would never hurt poor Touya."  
  
"He is hurting Touya!" Yue cried, more confused now than before.  
  
"Oh, Yue..." She again regarded him with a hint of pity. "A human doesn't need magic to survive, that's true. But did you really think you could take that away from him, something he's lived with for his entire life, without hurting him?" Yue's eyes opened as big as saucers. Ruby Moon looked pensive for a moment and cheerfully raised a finger in the air. "If Touya had chosen me, he'd be alright now!"  
  
"I...I never meant...he offered them to me...this," tears started forming in his eyes. "I never meant for this to happen!"  
  
"If you'd done your part, it wouldn't have happened at all. Eriol just thought he'd make things a bit more obvious. I guess Touya wouldn't have ended in a hospital if it weren't for Eriol's intervention. But..."  
  
"But what? What could have happened that'd be worse than this?!" he spat.  
  
"He'd forget," she said simply. Yue shook his head.  
  
"What?" he whispered.  
  
"He'd forget. As simple as that. An ordinary human learns to live in a world without magic. Their feelings develop the way they should, detached from all that. Touya's feelings, about everything and everyone, were deeply attached to his perception of the world. That way of seeing and sensing what was around him, you took that away from him, and now he's starting to forget what it all feels like. He'd have died inside."  
  
The pain in his chest was unbearable, too much for him to remain standing, so he sat on the floor resting his back on the bed. So, it was true, it was all his fault.  
  
"I did this...I should have died..." he smiled sadly, letting out a heavy sigh. "I was ready to, I don't know why I accepted his offer...I..."  
  
Ruby Moon sat beside him.  
  
"Eriol didn't want you to die either," she said softly, "That was not an option. God only knows why, but he cares a lot about you." she placed a hand on his shoulder and Yue stared at her, a step away from freaking out from her kidness..   
  
"Then...tell me. What can I do to help him? There must be something." He didn't know what was stranger, Ruby Moon taking pity of him or him accepting it. The red haired smiled.  
  
"That's easy!" she cheered with her usual perky tone. Or was it Nakuru's? "All you have to do is love him." she said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Yue shook his head, frustrated.  
  
"I can't do that! I can't fall in love with someone at will! I don't love him!" he cried.  
  
"You don't?" Ruby Moon asked, faking confusion. "Then what have you been doing this past three days, sitting by his side? Why are you in the verge of tears right now? Why did you just said you should have died, instead of him suffering? Are you that caring for people you don't love?"  
  
Hearing her say those words seemed to make something click inside his brain. He stared at the void for a moment, realisation hitting him like a thousand bricks.   
  
"Where's Touya?" he asked softly. From the corner of his eyes he saw her face falling.  
  
"Well..." Yue didn't like her tone one bit, and stared at her intently, their 'moment' disappearing instantly.  
  
"Where- is- he?!"  
  
"As I said, Eriol never meant to hurt Touya, and since you weren't doing anything he thought he should..." she looked worried. Ruby Moon worried could not mean something good.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"He asked me to release him and said he'd take care of everything. He looked sad."   
  
Yue didn't waste any time asking where Clow had taken Touya, he ran out of the room as fast as he could, trying to locate Clow's aura. The hospital seemed bathed in it, and to that he had to sum the countless amount of spirits that inhabited it. He cursed himself for not realising before and cursed the fact that he couldn't locate Touya's aura directly.   
  
  
  
He was certain that they hadn't left the hospital, but they weren't anywhere in sight. A thought occurred him, remembering Clow's affection for high places. Yue didn't bother with the stairs; he found the nearest window and flew as fast as he could 'til he reached the roof. Yue took a shaky breath when he saw that Touya was actually there, minus Clow, standing on the edge opposite to him and showing remarkable interest for the abyss before him.   
  
He thought about simply catching him and taking him to safety, but he figured Touya didn't know what he was doing, and might fight him in mid air. As strong as Yue was, he was still the smaller of the two, and didn't feel secure enough to try. For once he was reluctant about leaving the job to Yukito. He wanted to be the one to help Touya, but he figured Touya might trust Yukito better.   
  
From behind Yukito's conscience, he paid particular attention to what was happening, hoping that his panic wasn't affecting Yukito. He couldn't tell though, since Yukito's own panic was more than palpable to him. He watched his alter approaching Touya carefully, determined to step in as soon as Yukito did something wrong.   
  
"To-ya?" the grey haired boy said softly, inches away from his boyfriend. Touya didn't seem to hear him. Yue noticed that his eyes were still vacant. At least Touya wasn't porpously trying to kill himself, he guessed. That was good.   
  
Yue ached to reach out and grasp Touya's hand, and was shocked when Yukito did exactly that. At that very moment, Yue felt something tugging at his powers. Yukito gasped and pulled his hand away. Apparently he'd felt it too. Touya on his part turned around to stare at his hand confusedly, still with his eyes fogged by madness. The taller boy frowned, and stared from the abyss to his hand several times. Yukito hesitantly reached out to touch Touya again, this time a little higher on his arm, and Touya let out a shaky breath, now staring at his elbow where Yuki's hand was.   
  
Yue was beginning to understand and he only hoped Yukito wasn't as slow as he'd been. The tugging at his powers grew stronger as time passed. Yue felt the moment when Yukito put two and two together. Yukito smiled at Touya, never letting go of his arm.   
  
"To-ya, why don't you come with me?" Yukito cooed. Touya seemed startled upon hearing Yuki's voice, but he stepped of the edge, letting Yuki guide him. Touya's eyes seemed to be going back to their usual glow, even if it was just a fraction of it.  
  
Once Touya was safe, Yukito pulled him into his arms. It was Yue's turn to gasp, feeling like his life's energy was being dragged out of him. But the feeling of Touya in his arms was too good to let go of him, and for once he allowed himself to enjoy the sensation. Even with his hair mussed and a hospital robe, Touya looked simply gorgeous, and he was sure it had been him the one to make Yukito start caressing that beautiful dark hair, combing it with his fingers.  
  
Both Yue and Yukito started feeling weaker by the second, and both of them realised they would probably disappear after giving Touya all his powers back. Without the need of his mistress powers, Yue had depended solely on Touya's ever since the transfer, and now there was nothing of Sakura's powers feeding him. Yukito didn't hesitate, willing to die for Touya. Yue did hesitate for a second, but it wasn't long enough to change his mind.   
  
Yue didn't know whose idea it had been, but he didn't complain at all when Yukito gathered all the energy he had left and leaned to kiss Touya with all the passion he could muster. Sure that it was his last chance, Yue let himself go in the kiss. He heard Touya moan softly and inwardly smiled. Touya would know how much he loved him and he'd take the memory of him to the other side.   
  
He didn't have the need for it, but apparently Touya still needed air to survive, and Yue moaned softly when the taller boy pulled away, panting. Touya stared at him curiously, still a bit confused.  
  
"Yue?"   
  
Shocked, Yue felt Yukito shake his head.   
  
"No, it's me...I'm..." Yue almost panics hearing his own voice saying the words. Touya smiled and leaned to kiss him again. Whatever shock he'd felt melted into pleasure when Touya begun caressing him in a way Yue was sure it had to be forbidden by many laws. The dark hands were everywhere, exploring Yue's body. Yue felt clumsy, but tried to return the gesture.   
  
The white angel tried desperately to rid Touya of his garment, not really sure why he needed to feel his skin so desperately. Before he knew what was happening, they were both lying naked on the cool stone floor, a mess of limbs and discarded clothing. Somehow, Yue didn't feel cold, not one bit, and his weakness was long forgotten. He could still feel his powers being dragged out of him, but amazingly enough, he could also feel Touya feeding them back to him, until Yue couldn't tell whose powers he was giving away and whose powers he was receiving. A blue glow started enveloping them, but both were to engrossed with the other to pay attention to it.   
  
As their passion increased, they settled into a slow rhythm, and Yue felt himself malting away. He couldn't tell where he ended and Touya begun. He was giving himself completely to the taller boy without any feelings of regret.  
  
As if it was even possible, Yue's pleasure increased to levels he wasn't sure he was able to endure. Apparently Touya was feeling the same; he started whispering his name over and over again. Later Yue couldn't remember which name he'd been calling. Suddenly Yue went blind, a pressure in his stomach literally bursting out of him.   
  
The last thing he saw was Touya arching his back and yelling his name. He could have sworn he saw a set of cerulean wings spring from Touya's back before exhaustion won over him and he fell into a deep, pleasant sleep.   
  
TBC (yes, it's not over yet.) 


	11. Chapter 11

SHOW ME  
  
A/N: Obviously, last chapter wasn't a success, never mind. I hope you'll still   
  
read this one, since it's the conclusion, ok? I hope you've enjoyed this, I   
  
can't believe it's over.*sob* Maybe I should do another chapter? Like CCS last   
  
episode? Tea at Eriol's, what do you say? Tell me if I should bother posting   
  
more of my CCS fics. I can take a no for an answer.  
  
A little comment: Well, remember, this is Tomoeda we are talking about. I figure   
  
it must be the Sunnydale of manga. So I don't think any character would be very   
  
surprised or curious about strange events. It can't get weirder than big giant   
  
rocks spurting out of the floor and everyone falling asleep at the same time. So   
  
if people just accept Touya being ok over night and...the other stuff that   
  
happens, that's why. That's just my opinion, feel free to disagree.   
  
CHAPTER 11  
  
Touya was having a very vivid dream about making love to Yuki when something   
  
begun creeping up and down his upper back, paying particular attention to the   
  
space between his shoulder blades. Annoyed, he stopped what he was doing, trying   
  
to see what was causing the distraction, but there was nothing behind him.   
  
Yukito disappeared first, then everything around him begun fading. All but the   
  
caress.   
  
His mind was fuzzy with sleep, and he felt too good to open his eyes. He was   
  
wrapped in something very fluffy and warm he couldn't identify yet. Against his   
  
will his senses begun to return. First he noted that whatever was caressing his   
  
back felt like delicate fingers. Then he heard a low, cheerful humming. Next he   
  
realised with alarm that he was butt naked and snuggling with some-one in a   
  
similar situation. He opened one eye, hesitantly, but all he could see was a   
  
sort of silver curtain and the sunlight streaming through it. The caress and the   
  
humming stopped.  
  
"You're awake." he heard a familiar voice whispering, almost purring. His heart   
  
skipped a beat when he recognised it.   
  
Touya slowly turned around. Whatever was covering them made it impossible to   
  
distinguish his companion's face clearly, but the warm voice, the slender   
  
figure...  
  
"Yuki?" fear assaulted him; now he was more conscious, and he remembered that he   
  
was supposed to be trapped in some sort of hell. This didn't feel like hell, in   
  
fact, he hadn't felt as good since...he'd never felt as good, as complete as at   
  
that moment. "Are you real?" he asked uncertainly.   
  
Yukito leaned closer to him and smiled. There was something different on his   
  
beloved snow bunny. For starters, his hair looked longer and lighter, his skin   
  
whiter, and his eyes, there was more depth in them.  
  
"You could say that." Yukito said jokingly. Then his face turned serious.   
  
"To-ya...are you...? I mean, are you with me?"  
  
Touya snorted and caressed the other's cheek.  
  
"Good morning to you too. It is morning, isn't it?" he leaned all his weight on   
  
one elbow over whatever blanket they were resting over, in order to sit up, but   
  
when he did so, Yukito squealed in pain.  
  
"OW!" the platinum haired boy cried. Touya jumped away from the soft blanket and   
  
stared in confusion at Yukito, while he...stroked the blanket?  
  
He blinked several times and rubbed his eyes, not being able to believe what he   
  
was seeing. The curtains, the blanket...they were no less than a pair of   
  
gorgeous, huge silver-ish wings coming from Yuki's back and surrounding them   
  
both, forming a surreal cocoon. .   
  
"Huh?" was all he managed. Yukito rubbed the sore spot on his wings a little   
  
longer and then gave Touya the brightest of smiles.   
  
"Curious, isn't it?" Yuki said innocently. Touya nodded emphatically. Then   
  
Yuki's face turned cryptic, and he leaned inches away from Touya's face.   
  
"Can't you feel anything different?"   
  
Was Yuki teasing him? Touya smirked and played along.  
  
"Your hair's different." he pointed out, deadpan. Yuki mockingly pouted.  
  
"You don't like it." Touya swiftly moved through the small space he had under   
  
those wings, and pulled Yukito to a him. He took a deep breath, taking in the   
  
scent of his hair and realizing for the first time that he could FEEL Yuki, in   
  
every sense of the word. He noted his koibito felt different. His aura was the   
  
same but...  
  
For a moment he thought he couldn't feel Yue anymore, and he panicked. But then   
  
he realised that was exactly what was different from Yuki's aura. He kissed Yuki   
  
lightly on the lips, and the smaller boy smiled at him with that beautiful   
  
innocent smile of his.  
  
"Care to explain, Yuki? Or is it Yue?"  
  
Yuki giggled.  
  
"I guess it'd be Yue-kito?"  
  
Touya scratched his head.  
  
"I don't understand. How?"  
  
Yukito's smile turned...well, Touya could only guess that was Yue's smile.  
  
"We should ask Eriol that. He's the one that staged this mess."  
  
Touya smiled knowingly and kissed Yuki again.   
  
"Now tell me..." he said teasingly, kissing the boy's neck in between words,   
  
"Why are we naked?"  
  
He could almost feel Yukito's blush.  
  
"Don't you remember?" the grey haired boy asked. Touya shook his head no without   
  
stopping his ministrations on Yuki's neck. Yukito pulled away slightly and gave   
  
Touya the most mischievous of smiles. "Would you like me to remind you?"  
  
Touya didn't even bother with an answer and threw himself on top of the other   
  
boy. Yuki burst out laughing.  
  
"Wait! You lunatic!"   
  
Touya tried desperately to get the beautiful wings out of the way, but Yukito   
  
wouldn't let him.  
  
"Yuki...help me out here!" he cried. Yuki couldn't stop laughing. "What?!"  
  
"You...you don't want me to...do that!" he said, referring to his wings. Touya   
  
looked at him confusedly.  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
Yukito moved his right wing slightly, so Touya could peak outside. The darker   
  
boy gasped when he realised they were outdoors.  
  
"Oh my god. We did it..."  
  
"On the roof!" Yuki cheered. Touya blushed to the roots of his hair and let go   
  
of Yukito.   
  
The smaller boy opened his wings just enough so they could pick up their clothes   
  
and they started getting dressed in comfortable silence. Touya suddenly turned   
  
to face him.  
  
"So..." he said slowly. "Who *are* you now? I mean..."  
  
Yukito smiled softly.  
  
"I'm me. I can't explain it, but...that's it, I'm me."  
  
"Do you know why you...changed? Can you turn into 'Yue' again?"  
  
Yukito looked pensive for a moment.   
  
"No." he said finally. "I don't really know why, but I figure...well...You are   
  
different too, you know?" he ended cheerfully. Touya looked baffled. "I mean,   
  
don't worry, your hair's still the same!" he joked, but immediately turned   
  
serious. "But you are...uhm...less human now. I can feel it." Yukito looked   
  
worried, or saddened, about that fact. Touya grabbed his face with both hands   
  
and looked deeply into the now silver eyes.  
  
"So, now I'm a bit more like you?" he smiled tenderly. This was still his Yuki,   
  
so insecure and so thoughtful of others. Yuki nodded, eyes big as saucers.   
  
"And I'm a bit more like you...that's why...I guess, that's why my appearance   
  
balanced more towards my human side. And, well, my powers are...our powers now.   
  
I'm no longer Clow's creature." Yuki got a very serious expression, filled with   
  
love and want. "I'm yours now." A thought suddenly hit Touya and he winced.   
  
"What?" Yuki asked fearful.  
  
"Does this mean I have to follow Sakura's orders now?" This caught Yuki by   
  
surprise, and he stared at Touya, mumbling a little, not really knowing the   
  
answer. Touya laughed and ruffled his hair. "I'm joking Yuki." Yukito laughed   
  
nervously. "There's no power in the universe capable of making me do that." he   
  
finished deadpan, with one finger in the air.  
  
Yukito shook his head and pulled away from the embrace. He concealed his wings,   
  
took Touya by the hand and started walking towards the door. Touya thought he   
  
heard him whisper 'sister complex', but didn't comment on it.   
  
***************  
  
He was only paying attention to the boy holding his hand while they made their   
  
way through the hospital's hall, so he didn't know what had hit him when someone   
  
grabbed him fiercely and pulled him into a hug. Somehow it triggered a lot of   
  
traumatic Nakuru flashbacks, but this person was a lot taller and more...male;   
  
well, maybe.   
  
"God Touya! Where were you! We were looking all over for you!" his father   
  
tightened his grip on him, and Touya was sure he was turning blue.  
  
"Dad..." he croaked, "Dad, you're choking me." From over his father's shoulder   
  
he could see Yukito smiling at him. The same smile he used when Sakura would   
  
fight with him; seemingly unaware of everything, though Touya was sure there was   
  
a slight mocking tone in it. His father pulled away and nervously straightened   
  
his suit.  
  
"I'm sorry son, it's just..." Fujitaka suddenly looked up at him, startled.   
  
"You're ok!"  
  
Touya smiled sheepishly.   
  
"Yeah, dad. Everything's ok now." he remembered something and looked down,   
  
ashamed. "I'm sorry for...you know, for..." Fujitaka waved him off, smiling from   
  
ear to ear.  
  
"Forget about it! C'mon, we should find a doctor so they can sign your release!   
  
I want you home by dinner time."   
  
Yukito's smile widened.  
  
"Are you cooking, sir?" Fujitaka nodded. He stared at Yukito curiously for a   
  
moment.  
  
"Did you do something with your hair?"   
  
***********************  
  
It took Fujitaka a lot to convince the doctors to release Touya. They wanted to   
  
keep him there for another day just to be sure, but the professor wouldn't have   
  
any of it. Obviously his father had won, since he was now packing the few things   
  
they'd brought him and changing into something more suitable for the streets   
  
than a hospital gown.   
  
At that moment he was fighting with his hair, wincing in pain every time the   
  
comb would find a knot. From the reflection of the bathroom mirror he could see   
  
Yukito waiting for him. He was standing next to the window, gazing outside with   
  
a pensive look on his face, his back straight as an arrow, his chin slightly   
  
higher than usual and his arms crossed in front of his chest. There was a hint of   
  
a smile on his lips. Just a few minutes before, Sakura had burst into tears,   
  
crying that she didn't mean for Yue to disappear, that she wasn't really mad at   
  
him. Apparently his little sister had crossed words with Yue and now that she 'd   
  
realised the change on her guardian, she thought the worst. Yukito immediately   
  
reassured her and tried the best to explain to her what he himself couldn't fully   
  
understand. Now Touya could see Yue; he was happy that his mistress cared about   
  
him as much as she cared for, well... him?   
  
God, this was going to be complicated.   
  
He still understood what his koibito was feeling. After all, Yue had been hurt   
  
beyond repair, or so it seemed, by the people he'd loved. He could relate to   
  
that, and to the feeling of finding out that you can love and be loved again.   
  
Touya sighed, almost willing to surrender and admit he needed a haircut.   
  
"You need a brush, not a comb." came a soft, kind voice from behind him. He   
  
leaped, almost screamed, and turned around, terrified.   
  
Nadeshiko was standing before him, this time with the same loving expression he   
  
remembered her having. It was unbelievable that he'd ever thought that   
  
other...thing, could be his mother. Still, he was a bit freaked.  
  
"Stop haunting me in the bathroom," he whispered, half jokingly half scared.   
  
Nadeshiko smiled.  
  
"I'm sorry." She gazed him tenderly and sighed. "You know that wasn't me, don't   
  
you?"  
  
Touya nodded.  
  
"I missed you. It's nice seeing you again."  
  
Nadeshiko nodded and smiled playfully, signalling him towards the bathroom door,   
  
where Yukito was standing, watching him worriedly. Touya smiled again.  
  
"To-ya, who are you talking to?" Yukito said carefully. Touya stood straight.  
  
"I was talking to mom. You don't happen to have a brush here somewhere, do you?"   
  
Yukito relaxed and shook his head no. He approached Touya, who pulled him into a   
  
hug and brushed his bangs tenderly. "You need a haircut."  
  
"Look who's talking!" Yukito laughed.   
  
Touya kissed Yukito, tenderly at first, but it turned passionate immediately,   
  
and Yukito pulled away, blushing.  
  
"Is your mom still here?" he whispered with a hoarse voice. Touya snorted.  
  
"Nope. And dad shouldn't be here any time soon. You know, paper work..." he   
  
trailed off, pulling Yuki with him out of the bathroom, towards the door.   
  
Without letting go of the other boy's mouth, he locked the door. Yukito was the   
  
first to pull out for air, resting the back of his head on the door and moaning   
  
softly. Touya suddenly felt very self assured. His beloved snow bunny was a   
  
moment away from loosing it and it was him doing that to him. He looked at him   
  
lovingly.  
  
"Say, Yuki, should we kick that kid's ass or thank him?" he said before starting   
  
to unbutton Yuki's shirt. Yukito seemed to think about it for a moment.  
  
"Both," he answered deadpan, and claimed Touya's mouth once again.   
  
IN THIS WORLD THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES ...  
  
ONLY THE INEVITABLE.   
  
***A/N-P.S: *sob**sob* Did you like it? * sob* It's...*sob*... over! What am I going to do   
  
now?! (starts looking around, nervously, rocking back and forth on her chair)   
  
Probably keep reading Gouhou Drug like mad. Ah, the wonders of being an obsessive maniac! *sigh* 


	12. Epilogue

SHOW ME by Konnie  
  
A/N: Well, this certainly took me a while to write. Truth be told, I had the idea of an epilogue in my head for quite some time. Then TamChronin (Your stories are so so so beautiful!!) asked me to write one and I went as far as to promise her I'll do it within the week. Which I never did. I couldn't write anything I liked and it was driving me insane. Then kmj0829 suggested something, which was pretty much what I'd thought with a twist that made it all click, and I wrote it in...uhm, lemme see...exactly three hours. So, this isn't entirely original on my part, but I swear I had thought of something very similar.   
  
I hope you like it, and if you want you can suggest ideas for a sequel. I'm currently writing another CCS story, you might want to check it out.   
  
Thanks to everyone who read this. And special thanks with little pinky hearts to the ones who bothered reviewing it.   
  
And so it ends.  
  
EPILOGUE  
  
There was a mild ruffle of leaves and a few barely audible whispers, one of them that was starting to sound like a hiss.  
  
"Eriol! My nails! You can't expect me to climb this stupid tree when I could be flying above the stupid house!" one very annoyed girl exclaimed. The boy next to her, who was expertly making his way up the branches rolled his eyes.  
  
"Nakuru will you keep your voice down?! I told you, we have to be discrete. I'll make you new nails when we get home, ok?"   
  
The girl's eyes went wide and one could almost see the stars in them.  
  
"Pretty nails? Ones that change color on command and never brake? Please, please, please?!"  
  
"Yes, I promise." The girl was a second away from bouncing up and down in delight, but one stern look from Eriol and she was on one of the top branches, quiet as she'd ever be.  
  
A blue stuffed animal hovered over the boy's head while he settled on another high branch without a problem.  
  
"Master," the plushie said seriously, "Is it correct for us to be spying on them like this?"  
  
The boy smiled innocently.  
  
"No." was all he said. The stuffed guardian nodded.  
  
"As long as it's clear." he whispered and sat next to his master.  
  
From the window that held their interest a loud crash was heard, followed by a yelp.  
  
"Oh fuck!" one of the occupants of the house yelled.  
  
"To-ya!" the other scolded.  
  
"I'm sorry, but they're so big! Are you sure this is right?" the first sounded rather shocked and incredulous.  
  
"I think you look sexy." the second sounded positively horny.   
  
The lights were on, but the occupants of the room weren't visible from the outside. Nakuru was straining her eyes to make out even the slightest shadow, to no avail.   
  
"Don't I always?" the first boy said, the pout evident in his voice, and Nakuru wrinkled his...er...her nose. She really didn't want to be here.  
  
"Of course you do." the answer came in a husky voice. there was a pause and when he spoke next, his voice sounded as amazed as Touya's had sounded a moment before. "My, they are big, aren't they?"  
  
"Yours are bigger." Touya said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Well, it's not the size that matters, it's how you use them." Yukito's voice was suggestive, making it impossible for Nakuru to ignore the pun.   
  
What was going on here? Was there something she should know about a guardians anatomy that she wasn't aware of yet? After all Clow had been a bit weird, maybe he...  
  
"So now what?" Touya asked, a little frustrated, diverting Nakuru from her anatomic dilemma.  
  
"You put them like this, see? Try it."  
  
There was another crash.  
  
"Fuck! I can't do this!"  
  
"To-ya..."  
  
"This is all new for me! You are the one with all those memories about how to do this, whether they are your memories or Yue's or if you are Yue...my head hurts." Touya whined.   
  
"Now, now..." Yukito cooed, "If you get a headache then we won't be able to do it. It's not rocket science, you know? Here let me help..."  
  
Suddenly Nakuru could hear someone giggling madly, but the voice sounded too deep to be Yukito's.  
  
"Wait! Wait, that tickles!"  
  
"To-ya! Stay still, you'll make me trip...Wait! No, not there!!" and then Yukito was giggling too.  
  
Nakuru was getting increasingly frustrated. Why did she have to be submitted to this torture, indulging her master's kinks while hearing Touya and Yuki do whatever it was they were doing?! She did *not* want to know!!  
  
Eventually the laughter stopped, followed by a few more sounds of wrestling and soft whispers and Nakuru was officially a step away from a nervous breakdown. Eriol cleared his throat calling her attention. She directed one of those 'if looks could kill' looks, and he motioned her to keep her focus on the pair.  
  
"This is the interesting part." Eriol whispered with a smile.   
  
"I'll bet." she mumbled.   
  
"Are you ready?" Yukito said, his voice sounding a bit louder.  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be." Touya answered with a shaky tone that did little to convince anyone of his words. "I still don't understand why I have to wear this ridiculous thing though." he whined.  
  
"'Cause you look sexy in it." Yuki said coyly.  
  
"I thought we'd established I look sexy all the time."   
  
Yukito sighed.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan worked real hard to make this for us, you should be thankful."  
  
Now, Nakuru thought, one thing was Touya and Yukito being all perverted in the almost-privacy of their room, but getting a kid involved? That was just wrong, no matter the girl in question was as weird as her master.  
  
The window opened before she could tell what was happening, and she almost falls from the branch. She still couldn't see either of them, just two huge blurry shadows.  
  
"We could always go skinny dipping." Touya suggested.  
  
Huh?  
  
"I don't think the people of Tomoeda would appreciate that." Yukito laughed.  
  
"I thought you liked me naked." Touya purred.  
  
God, get a room! A window-less room!   
  
"Behave Touya..." Yuki warned. Yes! Listen to him Touya! "Now, give me your hand and don't think too much. It's not that hard."   
  
Nakuru had to put a hand to her mouth to suppress the loud gasp that threatened to come out. She couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her, Yukito, clad in a garment very similar to Yue's, the only difference being that where there used to be blue now there was silver, was pulling Touya by the arm. His beautiful grey wings were spread wide. He looked like an angel, but then again, Yue always had as well. The shock wasn't because of Yukito. Touya, the object of all her affections and obsessions, was dressed entirely in black, with a twin garment to the one Yuki was wearing. Where Yuki's cloak was silver, Touya's was of a deep blue; it even had a cerulean stone in the middle of his chest. But the most beautiful of all were the huge, cerulean wings spreading from his back.   
  
Yukito floated very close to him, while Touya clumsily got used to moving his gorgeous wings. Nakuru couldn't take her eyes of him. He looked like an angel too, a fallen angel, and the sight of the two together was too much for her to bare. So much cuteness should be illegal.   
  
When Touya was steady on his feet, so to speak, Yukito led him by the hand and they took on the sky, carefully trying out just flying around. Touya looked both scared and delighted, and Nakuru wished she could join them.   
  
She was mesmerized by the sight, so she didn't lowered her gaze to look at Eriol when he spoke.  
  
"Beautiful, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes...they're...angels, aren't they?"  
  
Eriol chuckled.  
  
"I think you and I were listening to different conversations. Still," he got one of his, 'I-know-something-and-I'm-not-telling' looks. Nakuru wondered though, since everything was finished, that gleam in his eyes wasn't justified. She should probably leave a note to Sakura that said something along the lines of 'Run! Run before he gets bored again!'. She couldn't save herself, but maybe she could warn the others. Eriol continued, "This worked out wonderfully. It's sad to see it come to an end. It was entertaining to say the least."   
  
That she had to admit. And it had ended wonderfully. Sha was a sucker for happy endings. Happy endings with cute bishonens doing things she'd pretend not to bare.  
  
"I still don't understand though." she looked pensive. "That didn't sound like Yue. You didn't just make him disappear did you? He was dense but fun to torture."   
  
Eriol smiled cryptically.  
  
"That's were you're wrong. That did sound like Yue. You just haven't known for him as long as I have. Think of it this way," he put one finger in the air, very much like when he used to talk to Yamazaki-kun, "Imagine you have this life, but one day you fall of a cliff and get amnesia. You don't know who you are or who you knew. No one finds you so you start a new life, with new friends and people you care about. One day, after you've gotten used to being this new you, someone comes and tells you about your previous life, but you still don't remember. So, yes, you know who you really are but it still doesn't make much sense. To you, you're who you were after losing your memory, but your personality; your essence is the same. All those things you can't remember but that had marked you in the past still affect you. That was Yukito's life before all this. Sans the part of knowing he'd had a previous life, the feeling must have been pretty much the same. And now..."  
  
Nakuru nodded, wide eyed, amazed of how much sense it all made. She'd had a permanent migraine ever since it all started trying to figure it out.  
  
"And now Yukito remembers."   
  
"Exactly!" Eriol said cheerfully.  
  
"But I still don't understand Yue..."  
  
"Yue and Yukito *are* the same person. When Clow died, he split Yue in two so that he could heal whether he wanted it or not. And Clow knew he wouldn't want to. Since Yukito wasn't wounded like Yue was, he could love again. And I don't mean just Touya. And since Yukito's heart is, basically, Yue's heart... I know it's complicated, I'm getting a headache trying to explain." Eriol rubbed his temples. "It all made more sense in my head."  
  
"I think I understand." Nakuru said like a five year old. Then she smiled wickedly "Which is worrying. If your twisted mind is beginning to make sense it means you're either losing your touch or I'm going as crazy as you."  
  
"Anyway..." Eriol glared at her and continued as if nothing had happened. "Now I need to find something else to do." He glanced upwards, watching the two angels making out in mid air, rather heatedly. "Say, Nakuru, wouldn't you like feathers on you wings?"   
  
The girl's face was stricken with horror, and she backed away slightly.  
  
"Oh no, you're not using me to entertain yourself! Use Kaho!"   
  
She'd fled if it hadn't been for the pair coming back to their room. The mage and two guardians held their breaths, painfully aware of how close they'd come to getting caught. It was obvious Touya and Yukito were to entranced with each other to notice, though. Nakuru sighed, relieved as soon as they were inside, but then, just as she'd thought they were out of danger, Yukito poked his head out the window with a smile from ear to ear. In his hand, he held a pair of feathers, one silver, one blue. They started floating and headed right into the mage's hand.   
  
Without a word of acknowledgement, Yukito closed the window and the lights went off.   
  
THE END. 


End file.
